This article was scientifically reviewed by Human Sexuality expert Dr. Laurie Mintz. She is a professor, researcher, private practitioner and Fellow of the American Psychological Association.
Whether you’re in a committed relationship, have a friends with benefits, or using Tinder on a regular basis, the chances you’ve asked or been asked to have anal sex, are very high.
And let’s not beat around the bush, it’s usually men who are the ones asking. But that doesn’t mean that there aren’t women all over the world who absolutely love anal sex.
Believe it or not, there is a real appeal for many people when it comes to backdoor action. And here you’ll learn how to do it right, how to enjoy it, and why so many people are going ape for anal.
What is Anal Sex?
Anal sex, simply put, is butt sex! It’s when a penis (or dildo) is inserted and thrusted into someone else’s butt for sexual pleasure.
A Quick History Lesson on Anal Sex
You may think it’s the modern man or woman who enjoys this sexual practice, but in actuality…it’s been around as early as 100 AD.
Of course, we don’t know this from finding videos on PornHub, but archaeologists have unearthed as many as 10,000 clay pots created by the Moche culture in Northern Peru depicting two people having anal sex.
Interestingly, the people of ancient Greece were kind of on the same bandwagon too. It was said that they enjoyed anal sex as a means to prevent pregnancy. Perhaps how the term “Greek Love” (aka anal sex) came about? Very plausible.
But one thing that these cultures did not quite convey, was the fact that anal sex can be seriously amazing!
A stands for Anal… and Amazing!
If you’re apprehensive about anal sex, for some people, anal sex can be absolutely fantastic and totally orgasmic.
For women: Between the vagina and the anus, there is a thin wall. And when a woman engages in anal sex, pressure is put on this wall, enhancing the ability for the G-spot to be stimulated.
What is the G-spot? Short for the Grafenberg spot, it’s an erogenous zone found in a woman that, when stimulated, can lead to very powerful orgasms.
Additionally, the base of the clitoris actually extends all the way back into the anus, which means that internal clitoral stimulation is highly possible during anal sex.
For men receiving anal sex or stimulation: Many heterosexual men believe that receiving any stimulation in this region holds homosexual implications. This is simply untrue.
In fact, men who engage in this sexual practice can enjoy prostate stimulation and thick and strong erections. It can also bring about a different kind of orgasm, with many men admitting that it feels even better than what they’re used to.
For men and women receiving anal sex: The anus is rife with sensitive nerve endings.
There’s also the fact that the pudendal nerve (found in the perineum – the area between the anus and the scrotum or vulva), accounts for a great deal of sensation. This means that oral sex or stimulation in that region can be a gold mine when it comes to receiving pleasure.
For men giving anal sex: When it comes to men giving anal sex, it’s a sensation that simply cannot be mimicked by the vagina. The anus has less elasticity, meaning that it creates a tighter feeling for the penis.
It’s also been linked to feeling more dominant, having ultimate control, and engaging in kinky and taboo practices, which is a turn on for some.
How To Receive Anal Sex for the First Time
If the butt is a new territory for you, it’s best to start off slow. After talking with your partner about it, and reaching mutual consent that includes your limits and intrigues, starting with oral and a small toy is the best way to go.
Whichever way you choose to try anal sex or stimulation however, silicone lube is your best friend. Attempting anything in the area without lube will result in everything but pleasure.
Rimming: Another taboo for some, rimming can actually be a heavenly pleasure. That is, licking, penetrating with the tongue, sucking and or kissing the area. This is a great way to induce relaxation before adding any stimulation to the mix.
Finger(s): You can also opt to use fingers first, as a means to start off small. Use one and then try two. Slow and steady always wins the race and gives the receiver a much more pleasurable sensation.
Using anal toys: Once you’re comfortable, consider using the Gigi 2 vibrator. The vibration will give you a more comfortable sensation and it can be inserted very slowly into the anus, using lube.
You could also use a butt plug as a means to slowly become comfortable with this new sensation.
Receiving anal sex with a penis or strap-on: Every butt is different and unique, and each have their own level of tightness. There’s just no telling how well someone’s penis or strap-on will be received.
For that reason, enter extremely slowly and allow the receiver to verbalize how he or she feels. Always stop if the receiving partner says to due to pain or discomfort!
Essential Tips for Pleasurable First Time Anal Sex
You may think that anal sex resembles that of vaginal sex – this is not true at all. One should not make small (or big) in and out movements, as the chance that the receiver will enjoy it, is very low. In fact, your partner may only be feeling painful sensations during this method.
The best way to have anal sex is to enter the anus a little, and stay there for 10, 20 or 30 seconds. This gives the anal sphincter time to relax. When comfortable, slide in a little bit more, and wait. Continue this until the receiver is comfortable enough to try small thrusting.
The truth is however, every person will experience anal sex differently. You or your partner may just love it, but for some – it is merely a source of pain and anxiety. These things are important to discuss before, during, and after to ensure comfortability and mutual respect. Again, if the receiver is in pain or not comfortable, stop immediately.
Controversy and Ulterior Motives in Anal Sex
On the adverse side, anal sex still remains a controversial topic. And for men and women worldwide, this sexual act is often done for a number of other reasons, besides gaining sexual pleasure.
Why Do Some Women Have Anal Sex, Even When They Don’t Really Want To?
According to research, many women engage in anal sex as a means to give her partner something desired and uncommon.
Anal sex is sometimes seen as a “gift” from a woman out of love and regard. It’s an act that isn’t done regularly, and thus it retains the notion that it’s special and taboo. It also requires a lot of trust between partners.
There is also research showing that some women are coerced or pressured into anal sex. Sexual pressure and coercion are never ok, for anal or anything else!
Why Do Some Men Obsess Over Anal Sex?
Besides the fact that it is a completely different and pleasurable sensation, some men are hoping to engage in anal sex because of its power play appeal.
Being the giver, feelings of dominance come about where a man can “have all parts of a woman”. She lowers her defense and places trust in her partner, which can be a real turn on for some.
It’s also a way in which to disregard taboos, enjoy “forbidden fruit”, and participate in a fantasy that is often depicted in porn. In porn videos, women are often objectified and always ready to exceed mainstream sexual acts.
With that, it’s quite clear that the debate on anal sex is still in full swing, with some engaging in the act simply for the pleasure, while others see it as a power play, an exchange of trust, and an act of love and endearment.
What are your motives for wanting anal sex?
Check this out: Absolutely Everything You Need to Know about Anal