This article was written by Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a social psychologist, researcher and award-winning educator. For more information:
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Sexual dysfunction refers to any persistent sex problem that results in significant distress. Research finds that nearly half of women and one-third of men have experienced a sexual dysfunction in the past year alone.
Difficulties with sex can trigger anxiety, stress, shame, embarrassment, and relationship turmoil. Consequently, sexual dysfunction can take a big toll on people’s physical and emotional well-being.
Fortunately, there is much that can be done to relieve sexual dysfunction. In this article, we will explore one novel solution: using sex toys. Sex toys, in many ways, are sexual therapy devices. They can be a very helpful tool in the recovery process, whether used alone or in combination with other therapies. We will examine several ways in which toys can assist in sexual health rehabilitation.
Understanding Sexual Dysfunction
Common forms of sexual dysfunction include:
- Issues with low desire/libido and sexual responsiveness
- Difficulty becoming or staying aroused, such as erectile dysfunction (ED)
- Orgasming too quickly (premature ejaculation)
- Taking too long to climax (delayed orgasm)
- Not orgasming at all (anorgasmia)
- Experiencing painful sex, such as having vaginismus or a pelvic pain disorder
Sexual dysfunction is multifactorial and can be caused by biological, psychological, and/or social factors. What this means is that sex problems can be due to anything ranging from low hormone levels and chronic health issues to high levels of stress and a history of trauma to relationship conflict and communication issues.
Understanding the cause of a given sexual dysfunction is helpful in figuring out the best approach for resolving it.
How Sex Toys Can Aid in Overcoming Sexual Dysfunction
There are myriad ways in which utilizing sex toys help in dealing with sexual difficulties. For example, regular use of vibrators and penis pumps can help in dealing with arousal issues by providing blood flow improvement to the genital area. Likewise, for issues with pelvic pain that stem from a weak pelvic floor, using Kegal balls and pelvic exercisers can tighten the muscles. Research has found that strengthening the pelvic floor can not only help in reducing pain, but also in terms of reaching orgasm more easily.
Therapy-based sex toys can also be helpful as a form of safely exploring your own personal pleasure preferences and uncovering new erogenous zones. They can enhance body awareness of what does and does not feel good, and the most effective route to orgasm for you.
When low sensitivity is behind a sexual dysfunction, toys can be a form of sensory therapy. How to increase sexual sensitivity? You can use vibrating toys to provide deep nerve stimulation. Both the penis and clitoris contain specialized nerves that respond to vibration, and stimulating them can boost arousal in a way that is different from manual stimulation.
Additionally, using sex toys during solo play can potentially help in dealing with the stress and anxiety that is so often at the root of sexual dysfunction. In other words, practice mindful masturbation for sexual health. Allowing the toy do the work while you focus your attention on the physical sensations can be a helpful way of learning how to get out of your head and into the moment.
Best Sex Toys for Different Types of Sexual Dysfunction
For specific sexual problems, what toys are going to work best? Let’s explore.
Sex toys for erectile dysfunction: In the case of ED, two of the most helpful toys are going to be penis pumps and rings. Penis pumps enhance blood flow to the penis, allowing the user to get an erection on demand, while penis rings (also known as cock rings) can help in maintaining an erection by keeping blood in the penis longer. As a bonus, you can use a vibrating penis ring for added sensation and deep nerve stimulation.
Overcoming anorgasmia with sex toys and the best vibrators for low libido: For issues with low libido and/or difficulty reaching orgasm, clitoral and G-spot vibrators can be helpful for increasing genital sensitivity and experiencing arousal. For women, low desire and low arousal often go hand in hand, so boosting arousal with something like a clitoral suction vibrator can be helpful in enhancing desire. Being more fully aroused can also aid in reaching orgasm more easily.
Sex toys for premature and delayed ejaculation: For men with premature ejaculation, the use of masturbation sleeves and stamina-training devices can be helpful for practicing edging and developing better ejaculatory control. Masturbation sleeves can also be helpful to men with delayed or absent orgasm because these sleeves help to mimic the sensations of partnered sex. Oftentimes, men who find it hard to orgasm during sex do so because the sensations are different from their usual masturbatory technique. By bringing the sensations of partnered sex into masturbation, men can practice orgasmic response training and learn to orgasm in this way. Some men may also find a prostate massager beneficial in stimulating faster and more intense orgasms.
Overcoming pelvic pain: Lastly, for issues related to pelvic pain or vaginismus (involuntary vaginal tightening), the use of dilators of graduated size can be beneficial by allowing you to practice progressive relaxation. Start with something very small and slowly work your way up, while also using plenty of lube and trying some deep breathing exercises. In addition, you might use a soft, body-safe vibrator to provide gentle stimulation. You can also use these sex toys for better blood circulation.
Combining Sex Toys with Other Therapies
If you’re dealing with a sexual difficulty or dysfunction, it is, of course, always best to consult with a licensed sex therapist or your doctor for holistic sexual recovery. They can help you to uncover the cause of your dysfunction and create a custom treatment plan for your individual circumstances.
No matter the difficulty you’re dealing with, incorporating sex toys into the treatment program may prove beneficial. For example, in dealing with pelvic pain, the approach might involve one part sex toys (dilators and Kegal trainers), one part mindfulness practices, and one part communication exercises with your partner. A multi-modal approach like this that leverages sex toys, intimacy enhancement, and pelvic floor therapy for sexual dysfunction can be a potent combination.
As another example, in dealing with low desire, this might start with a partner-based solution focused on rebuilding intimacy, coupled with hormone therapy and use of a vibrator or clitoral suction device to promote arousal. Some people need to feel aroused first in order for desire to set in (this is known as responsive desire).
Tips for Using Sex Toys to Support Sexual Wellness
If you’re new to using sex toys and would like to explore them on your journey of overcoming sexual dysfunction (or to simply experience more pleasure in your sex life), here are a few tips. First, choose a beginner-friendly toy made of body-safe materials. For example, you might start with a simple bullet vibrator or an ultra-stretchy penis ring that is easy to apply and remove.
Second, when using your toy (whether alone or with a partner), take some time to set the mood beforehand. Create a relaxed and comfortable setting in which you can explore pleasure and your body. This might involve dimming the lights and playing some soft music that gets you in the mood, or maybe bringing your toy into the tub or shower with you if you have a waterproof toy.
Third, don’t be too hard on yourself. The path to overcoming a sexual dysfunction can sometimes take a while. Practice patience and self-compassion, and recognize that it might be a slow journey dotted with a series of small wins.
Finally, recognize that you do not have to do this all on your own. If you have a partner, they can be an important source of support, and incorporating your partner in this journey can be an opportunity to deepen intimacy and to help them understand what it is that you need.
Conclusion
At this point, it should be clear that sex toys can be a powerful tool in the process of recovering from a sexual dysfunction. Whether used alone or in combination with mindful self-pleasure techniques, couples intimacy solutions, or self-exploration techniques, toys can assist in better understanding our own bodies, boosting arousal and pleasure, improved orgasmic control, and relief from sexual pain.
If you’re dealing with a sexual dysfunction that is causing significant distress, consult with a professional. However, consider what toys might be able to do for you and how they might assist in your recovery.
Go out and explore your options and discover expert-recommended sex toys that are designed to both support and enhance your sexual wellness.
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