There’s nothing more empowering than pleasure. Sexual confidence can lead to higher self-esteem both in and out of the bedroom. Having low confidence or self-esteem means you might be more likely to submit to a partner’s desires without advocating for your pleasure, which is why sex toys and masturbation are such essential tools for empowerment through intimacy.
Exploring your sexual desires and what you find satisfying can help you get to know yourself and make you more comfortable in your own skin. In the long run, this will help you cultivate a deeper sense of self-worth and allow you to feel good about your body. Sex for confidence has a real effect – it will naturally radiate into other aspects of your life, having a ripple effect on your mental health as well as your personal and professional relationships. Sex toys help you own your desire and celebrate the body you’re in, which helps you own your power in life, so don’t be afraid to explore that inner sense of adventure!
The Psychological Link Between Sexual Wellness and Confidence
Your sexual identity is deeply interwoven with your self-confidence. Exploring various kinds of stimulation with different pleasure tools can help you gain a better understanding of what feels good. This self-knowledge leads to more self-awareness, more body confidence, and even more orgasms! This study from the University of Essex found that women who are more in tune with their bodies’ sensitivities experienced orgasms more frequently. By having more fulfilling sexual experiences, you’re guaranteed to have a greater feeling of self-acceptance.
Additionally, when you orgasm, a cocktail of hormones is released in the body. The release of dopamine and oxytocin are natural mood boosters, which can alleviate feelings of low self-esteem and provide a sense of calm. Self-esteem and self-pleasure are more connected than you think; research suggests that people with higher self-esteem have more fulfilling sexual experiences and vice versa, suggesting that sexual satisfaction and self-esteem mutually reinforce each other.
How Sex Toys Can Enhance Self-Confidence
Using our hands is great, but using sex toys from brands like LELO, which aim to reduce stigma and celebrate all bodies, can be the next level in harnessing your desire.
Figuring out what sensations and toys you enjoy using can inspire self-exploration and can be a liberating experience that boosts sexual confidence. Ultimately, understanding your personal pleasure preferences leads to a greater understanding of yourself, building a sense of self-assurance that will translate to other areas of your life as well.
Many of us grow up with shame-based messaging about sex, and when we don’t connect with our bodies, it can be tied to that shame. By letting go of this, it’s possible to see things through a more body-positive lens, feeling comfortable in our own skin and experiencing true self-acceptance. Using sex toys lets you fully experience sensations and live in the moment rather than letting self-criticism and negative self-talk take over.
Taking control of pleasure in a safe and private space can be empowering, especially for people who feel they have lost sexual agency through body image issues or trauma. This self-satisfaction also has a positive effect on intimate relationships. If you decide to use toys with a partner, it can allow you to reconnect while helping remove the pressure of performance anxiety since you’ve already experimented with what feels good during solo play.
Types of Sex Toys That Aid in Confidence Building
Clitoral & G-Spot Vibrators: For women who enjoy internal or external stimulation, clitoral and G-spot vibrators are a beginner-friendly way to explore pleasure. A rabbit vibrator can stimulate both areas at the same time for a blended orgasm.
Kegel Balls & Pelvic Health Devices: These devices can strengthen pelvic muscles while providing pleasure, leading to stronger orgasms, better control, and overall more sexual confidence, especially for new moms or people with incontinence or those who use menstrual cups.
Sensory & Touch-Enhancing Toys: Connecting to different sensations with blindfolds, ticklers, nipple clamps, or other BDSM toys can promote body awareness during solo or partnered play.
App-Controlled & Remote Toys: For long-distance couples, people looking to explore power dynamics, or those seeking a more ergonomic way to control toys during solo play, app-controlled and remote toys can help you explore preferences and increase confidence.
Incorporating Sex Toys into a Self-Empowerment Routine
Sexual wellness is an essential part of self-care and should be treated as such. Pleasure should be mindfully included in your regular routine to build on confidence and self-love. To maximize sexual self-care, set alone time aside in a relaxing space, creating ambiance with aromatherapy, candles (scented candles combine the both), or dim lighting. Put on a sexy playlist, get cozy with luxurious blankets or silk sheets, and massage yourself. Perhaps even add some audio erotica into the mix!
While it might feel awkward at first, pair your self-pleasure session with confidence-boosting affirmations and mantras, like “I am worthy of pleasure” or anything else that feels right. You can say this before or during your session or in a journal.
Cultural taboos, shame, and insecurities can make it difficult to embrace pleasure as a part of self-love. To embrace self-love and pleasure, consume sex-positive content, and embrace education through online resources and self-exploration. Follow sex educators and therapists on social media and listen to podcasts on the topic. Practice self-pleasure without guilt, have honest discussions with your loved ones or partner, and surround yourself with sex-positive communities. If feelings of shame or guilt arise, take a deep breath and remind yourself that pleasure is a birthright and your joy is the only thing that matters – not external validation.
Addressing Common Concerns & Misconceptions
Using sex toys is one of the best tools for confidence-building and self-exploration. You can explore on your own terms and at your own pace to strengthen the mind-body connection. It helps to normalize pleasure alone or with a partner, increasing sexual confidence. Knowing your own desires also lets you communicate them better with a partner.
Sex toys are also a great way to improve body image issues. Body positivity and intimacy have an undeniable connection. Please products help you build familiarity with your own body, and when you use them alone, they can help reduce the pressure to perform. Sex toys help you understand what’s beautiful about your body and the sensations you experience in the moment rather than aesthetics or comparisons.
To integrate sexual wellness into your daily self-care practices, make it a priority. Dedicate time and space for it, and you’ll see a difference in your stress levels, mood, and sleep. Just like a face mask or a massage, they’re wellness tools. And sexual wellness doesn’t only have to mean sex or masturbation – it can mean reading erotic literature, journaling about fantasies, or practicing body appreciation through affirmations in the mirror.
When You Explore Confidence Through Pleasure, The Possibilities Are Endless
No matter what toy you choose, learning how to boost confidence through sex toys can help you connect with yourself more deeply, and the result will have an impact on your life that extends outside of the bedroom. At its core, pleasure is a radical act of empowerment and self-love.
Embrace self-love in a space that makes you feel sexy and safe, and explore your deepest desires without judgment. It can shift your mindset not just around intimacy but in how you see yourself and what you feel you deserve in life.
When you embrace your pleasure, you can fully own your confidence. Practice makes perfect, so start including sexual wellness in a regular confidence-building routine and see just how empowered you become.
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