Due to societal and cultural norms, many people believe that once we get old, we stop having sex.
Sexual pleasure, like many things in life, has no age. And while it’s true that with age, our preferences, sexual fantasies, and desires might change and shift, they don’t usually disappear entirely.
So, let’s talk about senior sex, and how to have great sex at any age.
Statistics About Senior Sex
Do Seniors Use Sex Toys?
It’s no secret that younger generations invest in their sex toys – 86% of American people aged 25-29 own a sex toy. Would you guess that seniors aren’t far behind?
71% of people aged 55-59 years old own a sex toy. And that number remains pretty significant even for the population aged 60 and older – 65% of Americans in that age group own a sex toy.
Do Old People Have Sex?
People age 40+ are just as engaged in sexual activities as people who are in their twenties.
Sociologist and researcher Dr. Pepper Schwartz says that these findings make sense: “There is no age cut-off for exploring new sexual fantasies and experiences. Part of staying youthful is staying creative and exploratory about sexual play.”
The founder of an ethical porn company afterglow, Lilly Sparks, also confirms that sexual exploration doesn’t stop at a certain age. “afterglow has a huge audience base in the 40-65+ age range and these folks tend to be some of the most engaged with sexual content,” she explains.
A study published in The Annals of Family Medicine found that 59% of women who were in relationships and over the age of 60 were sexually active. Those women reported a higher relationship satisfaction than women who weren’t sexually active.
How Our Bodies and Sex Change with Age
Changes to our bodies also effect our sexuality, it’s a natural part of life.
How Sex Changes for Aging Men
Studies show that men experience a decline in testosterone as they age. Testosterone is a sex hormone that is responsible for the sex drive, making sperm, erections, and other functions in the body. As testosterone levels decline, men might experience less desire for sex and might experience difficulties with getting erections.
How Sex Changes for Aging Women
According to the National Institute on Aging, due to hormonal changes during and after menopause, women might experience a decrease is sexual satisfaction due to lack of vaginal lubrication.
Due to changing levels of testosterone, estrogen, and progesterone, some women may find it difficult to get aroused by their partners.
Despite these hormonal changes that women experience, research shows that sexually active women in their 60s and beyond feel much more sexually liberated, and experience greater desire. This might be due to the fact that after menopause, women don’t have to worry about accidental pregnancy, which eliminates a lot of stress and can increase desire.
The Benefits of Senior Sex
The National Council on Aging reports that seniors who are in satisfying romantic relationships and are sexually active have longer lifespans, lower stress levels, and can recover more rapidly after surgeries. They also tend to suffer less from anxiety and depression.
A study that surveyed over 7,000 seniors also found that those who had at least one sexual event in the last year have a higher overall life satisfaction.
How To Enhance Senior Sex
Let’s talk about how to enjoy sex at any age.
Masturbation
Your body might be different and things that feel good and bring you pleasure might change. The best way to discover those things is through self-pleasure.
Staying connected with your body through masturbation can help with body image and confidence, not to mention the stress-relieving benefits.
Change Your Sex Mindset
Sex can be much more than penetrative intercourse – self-pleasure, mutual masturbation, oral sex, dry humping, heavy petting; the list goes on. Due to the physical and hormonal changes that come with age, you might need to experiment and find new ways to be intimate with your partner that might not include penetration or the ways you used to have sex.
More Lube
For penetrative sex with your partner or a toy, use plenty of your favorite personal lubricant. Vaginal dryness is a common effect of menopause, and adding lube can minimize friction to make penetration more enjoyable. Don’t be afraid to reapply as needed, even if it’s in the middle of sex.
Safe(r) Sex
While you might be tempted to forgo protection while having sex after menopause, it might be smart to use a barrier method with any new sexual partners.
The risk of contracting an STI is just as high in your sixties and beyond as it is in your twenties. Talk to new partners about safe sex, get tested regularly, and find the right barrier method for you.
