Sex toys are one of the best ways to create more opportunities for pleasure, increase accessibility, and have more fun in and out of the bedroom! While they’re often thought of as a tool for masturbation, sex toys are a great option whether you’re having sex with yourself or someone else.
For queer people, especially queer women, sex toys are not a “substitution,” but a wonderful way to amp up your sex life. Still, finding the right one for you and your partner can be a game of trial and error – a fun game at that.
Whether you’re on the hunt for your first toy as a couple, or you’re looking to add to your extensive collection… we’ve got something for everyone.
Here’s LELO’s round-up of the best toys for queer partnered sex:
Smart Wand 2
One of the most beautiful things about queer sex is that partners typically take more time and sink into the whole experience. They want to explore each other’s bodies and understand that sex can look a million different ways.
That’s where the SMART WAND comes in. The wand is a classic for a reason, it can get the job done in a multitude of ways. LELO has taken the classic wand shape and put their own spin on it with the SMART WAND 2. Using the wand to release stress and relax each other’s muscles helps you both unwind and increase intimacy, opening the door for deeper pleasure and connection.
With an updated design, the newest generation of SMART WANDS has over ten different massage patterns, a more stable and reliable handle, and a longer battery life for hours of fun sans a pesky wire.
SONA 2 Cruise
One study found that 36.6% of women require clitoral stimulation for orgasm. Another 36% said that while that wasn’t needed for orgasm, their orgasms felt better when they had clitoral stimulation with penetration.
There are so many possibilities when it comes to clitoral play. SONA 2 Cruise is a sonic clit vibrator designed for people who want to experience bigger, longer, and more intense orgasms.
The soft and deep “mouth” covers more surface area with twelve vibration settings for you and your lover to choose from. While its ergonomic design is easy to use on yourself, it can be exhilarating to watch your partner move through different levels of pleasure when you use it on them.
MONA Wave
Penetration isn’t always part of sex, but for those who do enjoy it, sometimes you crave something that hits a little deeper than your fingers can. Especially when it comes to targeting your G-spot.
We’re here to expand your options with the MONA Wave G-spot toy. Its slightly curved shape is designed to hit just the right spot whether it’s yours or your partner’s. The innovative WaveMotion™ technology creates a finger-like massage motion for intense G-spot stimulation.
This toy is awesome during intimate play. You can combine it with a clitorial massager or ask your partner to use their hands while you use the toy on them – or vice versa.
IDA WAVE
When you hand over the control to your pleasure (literally), it can create a wave of surrender that opens up new possibilities. That’s the beauty of the IDA Wave.
This app-connected dual vibrator also utilizes WaveMotion™ technology on two powerful motors to stimulate you or your partner’s clit and G-spot simultaneously. Ride off into the sunset while one of you takes the reins using the app to explore a wide range of vibration patterns. Now that’s an act of surrender.
White you’re on the app you can also get amped up by perusing thr library of vivid erotic literature, 4,000+ sexual wellness articles, and valuable relationship tips.
Lubricant
This list wouldn’t be complete without the secret ingredient… lube. Even if you don’t “need” it, lube is an incredible addition to any sexcapade. Especially when you’re using toys!
Toys tend to make things a little drier than skin-to-skin contact, and even if that’s not the case for you and your boo, a little extra moisture can go a long way in the pleasure department.
Before you go picking up any old bottle, make sure that the lube you choose is body-safe and also safe for toys. Most of LELO’s toys are made from premium silicone, so you’ll want to opt for water-based lube vs oil-based which can break down silicone.
Luckily for you, there are options. The Neutra Water-Based Lubricant is designed to add an extra silky-smooth gliding sensation, the LELO Personal Moisturizer helps keep you feeling vital and luxurious, and the Hyaluronic Acid Personal Lubricant is medical grade to keep tissues well-lubricated and moist.
Tips for using sex toys
Using a new toy can take a second to get used to, especially when you’re using it on someone else’s body. All of LELO’s toys are ergonomically designed to give you the smoothest experience possible, but that doesn’t mean you can’t use a few pointers.
Keep these tips in mind when taking your new toy for a spin:
Start Slow
With such powerful engineering, vibrators can really pack a punch. Luckily, most toys have a wide range of vibration patterns to choose from.
Our recommendation? Start on the lowest or one of the lowest settings, breathe into your body, and slowly work your way up if that feels right for you and your partner. It’s also totally fine to stay on the lowest one. You know your body best!
Communicate
Using new toys can be intimidating or awkward sometimes, just like sex. That’s OK, you’re both human! Using your words to say where you like it, if you want it stronger or softer, and if you need a break is important for building trust and increasing intimacy. Likewise, be sure to ask your partner if you’re using a new toy on them.
Plus, communicating while you’re having sex can be a huge turn-on for everyone involved.
Sink into Pleasure
There’s no rush. This is your time to connect with your partner on a deeper level, as well as your own body. Toys are a nice bonus, but this is about your relationship, whether it’s romantic, sexual, or both.
Try to sink into each other’s pleasure and enjoy the ride!