Gestating and giving birth to life is one of the most incredible things that human bodies can do. Both during and after pregnancy, your body is going through an immense amount of change. Hormones spike and dip, organs are literally rearranged, and body parts stretch and shrink.
All of these changes may influence how you feel about yourself as a sexual being after childbirth. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed, or like you’re a stranger to your postpartum body. One step towards refamiliarizing yourself with your body and regaining pleasure after giving birth is through healing intimacy – both with yourself and your partner.
This guide will detail how to optimize postpartum recovery with sex toys, offer tips on the best sex toys for postpartum healing, and how to reconnect intimately with yourself and your partner after birth.
Understanding Postpartum Changes & Their Impact on Sexual Wellness
Pregnancy and childbirth are an ongoing hormonal roller-coaster ride. After giving birth, many women experience a dip in sex drive due to their body producing less estrogen, which can result in vaginal dryness and lower libido.
This is basically evolution’s way of ensuring new mothers have the time to properly heal and care for the baby rather than getting pregnant again right away. Additionally, breastfeeding raises your level of oxytocin, aka the ‘love hormone,’ which increases bonding with your baby, but may replace the urge for intimate sexual connection with your partner.
The physical process of childbirth is also extremely strenuous- you just pushed out a living being, after all! Sexual dysfunctions after giving birth such as a loss of vaginal sensitivity and muscle tone are extremely common.
In a 2024 study, only 14% of women don’t report experiencing sexual dysfunctions after giving birth. Those who experienced particularly difficult childbirths that required additional surgery or stitches may also need a longer recovery time and have complications that may need ongoing care to heal.
On top of it all, there are the emotional adjustments of how your body has changed, having to live by your baby’s schedule, and shifting intimacy dynamics with a partner. This can all contribute to impacting sex after childbirth recovery.
How Sex Toys Aid in Postpartum Recovery
Improving Blood Circulation and Sensitivity
Low-intensity vibrators and external stimulation can improve blood circulation and sensitivity in the genitals, which can aid in recovering sensation and healing after childbirth. A 2023 study found that low-intensity stimulation significantly increased popliteal blood flow.
Restoring Vaginal Elasticity and Muscle Tone
The vagina has to stretch considerably to deliver a baby. While we’re designed to naturally recover, there may still be some loss of muscle tone and vaginal elasticity after giving birth. Done correctly, kegel exercises and dilators have been scientifically proven to help new mothers strengthen their pelvic floor muscles and regain vaginal tone.
Easing Pain and Discomfort
Sex may feel uncomfortable or painful after childbirth due to the strain on your vagina and the surrounding muscles. Gentle touch stimulators and warming toys soothe and stimulate your vaginal area while providing pleasant stimulation.
Helping Rebuild Sexual Confidence
Your body changes after childbirth. Exploring self-pleasure is a great way to refamiliarize yourself with your new body and get back in touch with your sexuality at your own pace.
Best Sex Toys for Postpartum Healing
For Pelvic Floor Recovery
The pelvic floor is a sling-like group of muscles which run from the pubic bone to the tail bone. These muscles are put under stress during childbirth, resulting in pain, lack of sensation during sex, or incontinence. Luckily, just like any other muscles, pelvic floor muscles can be strengthened through training. Regular pelvic floor exercises with kegel balls and smart pelvic trainers can help with pelvic floor strengthening after pregnancy.
For Easing Vaginal Dryness
Gentle sex toys for new mothers include soft-touch vibrators which stimulate your vagina to naturally lubricate, as well as pre-lubricated, body-safe devices to help with overcoming vaginal dryness postpartum.
For Gentle Reintroduction to Penetration
Childbirth is a hard battle for your vagina, and many new mothers may be wary of anything going back up there (for good reason). The key is to ease your body into accepting stimulation at its own pace. Vaginal dilators and ergonomic dildos can be a great tool for reintroducing penetration in a comfortable way that you are completely in control of.
For External Stimulation and Relaxation
Making yourself feel good is an important part of post-partum care. Sensory-friendly clitoral stimulators can provide those oh-so-relaxing orgasms through external stimulation that busy mothers need.
Tips for Using Sex Toys Safely During Postpartum Recovery
The first step towards post-partum sexual wellness is to consult with your healthcare provider about when it’s safe to resume sexual activity. While there’s technically no required waiting period for sex after childbirth recovery, most healthcare providers will recommend waiting until you’ve had a check-up with your OB-GYN after birth. If your childbirth was particularly risky or required additional surgery or stitches, your doctor may suggest further precautions.
When you’re ready to start reinvigorating your sex life, it’s important to choose body-safe, hypoallergenic materials to avoid tearing or damaging your already-stressed vagina, which can prolong the healing process or cause additional complications like infection. Using high-quality water-based lubricants can help ease this process.
Remember – this is your journey, and you should take as much time as you need to heal physically and emotionally. Sex toys are a great tool because they allow you to gradually reintroduce intimacy on your own schedule, and you can take things step by step as you become more comfortable with your post-partum body.
Partner Intimacy & Reconnecting After Birth
After something as life-changing as having a child, it’s normal for your relationship dynamic with your partner to change. Intimacy may become less of a priority, and the two of you may need to relearn how to be intimate again. Navigating intimacy together as a couple post-baby can be a journey that brings the two of you closer and strengthens your bond as you take steps together towards the next stage of your life.
Easing into your new body doesn’t have to be a solo process; using remote-controlled or couple’s sex toys with your partner can help build intimacy and trust, while you can teach your partner how to pleasure you at a pace you’re comfortable with.
As with nearly any aspect of partnership and intimacy, open communication is key. Talk about your mutual needs and expectations, check in about how you feel postpartum, and let your partner know what you would like to change and what you miss about your old sex life.
Also, sex intimacy isn’t just about sex – non-sexual touch like hugging, stroking, or massage can help rebuild closeness and assure each other of your physical and emotional presence. In one 2019 study, regular couples massage was shown to boost mental wellbeing and decrease stress.
Conclusion
The journey towards sexual wellness post-partum is a highly personal one. Exploring with sex toys during the postpartum recovery period can help you reconnect with your body, build confidence in your sexuality, and provide some much-needed stress relief. The best part about sex toys is that you can gradually increase the intensity of your exploration or expand your sexual preferences at your own pace. Discover postpartum-safe sex toys designed to aid recovery and pleasure from Lelo’s award-winning selection today.
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