This article was medically reviewed by Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a social psychologist, researcher and award-winning educator. For more information:
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To count the number of emotional and physical feelings we experience within a day would be merely impossible. We can go from happy to anxious, horny to angry, and sleepy to hungry within a matter of seconds.
And what’s super amazing is that our bodies, the magical vessels that they are, let us know how we’re feeling and dictate to us what we need and desire in that moment.
Sexual arousal is one of those feelings that frequently pops up. For many, it happens on a daily basis—often several times per day. So, what triggers those feelings in the first place? And how does it differ for men and women?
What Causes Sexual Arousal?
When we’re sexually aroused, our cognitive and physical functioning changes. This, of course, varies from person to person, but we can feel sexually charged from either external, internal, and/or physiological stimuli.
External stimuli can be seeing an erotic image or video, hearing a sexy song, or even viewing an object or person that may not even be considered ‘sexual’, yet is associated with something that we perceive to be arousing.
Internal stimuli is when we have certain thoughts or sexual fantasies about something that’s particularly erotic. For example, that could be anything from doctor-nurse role play to sex on the beach to thinking about our celebrity crush. We’re also prone to feeling turned on when we experience physiological stimuli. This could be when there’s an increase in blood flow to the genitals. It can also be when we touch ourselves or a partner touches you, such as when you have your genitals or nipples stimulated.
Sexual Arousal in Men
Have you ever wondered why the expression, “A man only thinks with his penis” exists? Well, there’s a hint of truth to it. While there is great individual variability from man to man in terms of how he gets turned on, men on average often find that arousal is easily triggered by a single stimulus.
Seeing erotic images, for example, immediately activates the region of the brain that causes an erection, which can lay the groundwork for feelings of arousal to set in.
The fact that arousal is often easily triggered in men may be part of the reason why men watch so much more porn than women do. But what about porn specifically is so arousing for men?
When men watch porn, they usually tend to focus more on the genitals in any image or video (hence the close-ups in porn). In fact, one study found that men were 25% more likely than women to focus on the genitals in an image, without even looking at the face.
However, when it comes to ultimate sexual arousal, images of women experiencing sexual pleasure has shown to be the biggest driving force for heterosexual men’s pleasure.
Images or videos of women moaning, gasping, and being visibly aroused can be a major turn-on, which may be why women’s pleasure is often “over-performed” in porn.
So, what does women’s arousal look like? And what kinds of things turn women on?
Check this out: Has Your Sex Drive Disappeared? Here’s What to Do (Besides Relax!)
Sexual Arousal in Women
As they say, women are excellent multi-taskers, and that’s no different when it comes to sexual arousal.
While a visual stimulus can be appealing, it’s not necessarily the main driver when it comes to women feeling sexually aroused. In fact, many women may feel threatened by images of unknown naked men, as it could induce feelings of danger and unrest.
Oftentimes, women are turned on by more than just sheer nudity. That’s why, if you’ve ever seen porn that is female-centred, you’ll notice that it has more intimate and romantic scenes. There’s a big focus on talking, kissing, and embracing, as well as other sexual acts, with fewer close-ups on penetration.
Visual stimulation for women is certainly a thing, but not necessarily in the same way as men. Across genders, there’s a big mental component to sexual arousal, but this seems to be especially true for women. In studies of what men and women focus on in porn, women are paying more attention to the entire context, including background imagery, and not just the sex itself. This may help to explain why romance novels hold more appeal to women than men. The narratives in these books paint a complete picture and feature carefully choreographed sex scenes where you can envision them in your mind in great detail with a setting and feeling—and not just a contextless sex act.
Sexual Arousal in Men and Women: A Conclusion
To summarize, here’s a quote from Ogas, an American writer with doctoral training in neuroscience, and Gaddam, a doctoral researcher at Boston University:
“Women respond to a truly astonishing range of cues across many domains. The physical appearance of a man, his social status, personality, commitment, the authenticity of his emotions, his confidence, family, attitude toward children, kindness, height, and smell.
Unlike men, who become aroused after being exposed to a single cue, women need to experience enough simultaneous cues to cross an ever-varying threshold.
Sometimes, just a few overwhelming cues can take a woman there. Other times, it takes a very large number of moderate cues. For women, no single cue is either necessary or sufficient.”
With that, we may start viewing porn and romance novels in a completely new light. And perhaps societal influences really do play a massive role in how and when we feel sexually aroused. Definitely something to ponder on…
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