No sex toy, no matter how advanced, can ever replace the communion of spirit and flesh that is created between two human beings who share a sensual moment. However, couples who incorporate sex toys often report greater intimacy and satisfaction.
When introducing a sex toy into partnered sex, it’s important to keep communication open, consider one another’s point of view, amd try to stimulate mutual curiosity. But, exactly how does a couples vibrator work and how do we use it? Keep reading to find out!
The Benefits of Using Sex Toys as a Couple
Sex toys make sexual exploration easier, especially when it comes to reaching erogenous zones like men’s prostates and women’s G-spots.
Not only do couples’ sex toys reach pleasure points, they also introduce new sensations. High quality pleasure products have a variety of both vibration patterns and intensities. Sex toys, as per their name, are an instrument for exploration and play, and play is one of the first tools of knowledge and discovery.
Other times, a sex toy is simply a device that makes things easier. For example, when climax lengths are significantly different between partners, toys can help bring orgasm times closer. Likewise, when one or both partners have physical characteristics that limit their movements, sex toys can simplify gestures and enhance movements.
The fact that you’re trying something new strengthens mutual trust and encourages greater communication. It gives you a more open attitude, not only towards pleasure, but also towards your partner.
How To Introduce Sex Toys into Your Relationship
Telling a partner that you want to introduce a sex toy can be the most natural thing in the world or the most terrifying. You may be afraid of being inappropriate, instilling insecurities in your partner, or looking sex obsessed.
The best way to introduce the topic is to talk about it. If that idea seems too frightening, you can take a detour by sharing a film, article, erotic story – any form of content that can introduce the topic and stimulate curiosity in your partner.
The first few times you use a sex toy as a couple can be nerve-wracking and awkard. For this reason, it’s important to familiarize yourself with the product before using it during intimacy. This gives you the opportunity to learn how it works and what’s appealing before using it on each other. And if there are still awkward moments, a good dose of playfulness and laughter are a great antidote.
When you decide to use a sex toy as a couple, it’s important that you choose it together. Not only does it add to the sexiness by researching and anticipating it together, it also ensures it satisfies both your desires.
Best Types of Sex Toys for Couples and How To Use Them
Vibrators for Couples
A wearable vibrator is a sex toy that is worn partially inside a women’s body and can be controlled remotely. The fact that the sex toy can be worn by one partner and controlled by the other obviously lends itself to an infinite number of erotic games, even in public, which is the main reason why these toys are popular among couples.
These couples sex toys are often used during foreplay because they allow one partner to take control and the other to submit themselves to pleasure. Even sweeter, the remote also vibrates and can be used to stimulate the one in control.
Some sex toys for intimacy are designed to be used during sex – think of vibrators like TIANI 3, which are worn by the woman while also stimulating the man, or penis rings that make his erection firmer and longer-lasting but have a vibrating head that stimulates the women’s clitoris during intercourse.
Remote-Controlled and App-Controlled Toys
Remote control vibrators can be controlled at a distance with a remote control or by downloading a dedicated app (each brand usually has their own). They be used to initiate foreplay or play in public. However, they’re most often enjoyed in the privacy of your home, where you can give up or take ultimate control in total comfort.
These type of sex toys are also the best ally for long-distance couples because they represent the extension of our lover’s body. It’s one of the many new tools of connection that technology gave us to bring lovers closer together. Dedicate yourselves to phone sex (some apps actually allow you to create ad hoc chatrooms) and take the time to be together even when you’re apart via your sex toys.
Cock Rings
Among the best sex toys for couples are penis rings that are designed with various functions. They make the erection firmer and last longer, and can be used to deal with issues like premature ejaculation. That’s why they’re designed like tools for couples. The best performing models include a vibrating head that rests precisely on the partner’s erogenous zones, adding pleasure during lovemaking.
When choosing a cock ring, it is important to follow a few simple rules. First of all, always choose the model that best suits your level of experience. In fact, there are many types, from the easiest to use (and remove!) such as the open ones, to the steel ones that are reserved for men who are already very familiar with this type of toy. Then there are intermediate models, such as those made of silicone, which are easy to remove but very high-performance. So, the first rule is to always choose the model and size that is more suitable for you. It’s also important to use them for a limited amount of time that shouldn’t exceed 30 minutes and to remove them at the first sign of discomfort.
Strap-Ons and Harnesses
They are among the most inclusive sex toys because they can be used with great satisfaction by all couples. They allow for a role reversal in the heterosexual couple: the woman secures a strap-on, with or without a dildo, and tries out the responsibility of penetration on the man (with his consent, of course). The man, in turn, in addition to the thrill of anal sex, also experiences what it means to find himself at the receiving end. But, as we anticipated, strap-ons are also widely used by homosexual couples because they allow for a thousand types of combinations. The same goes for harnesses, which are more or less the same thing, with the difference that the harness offers a greater variety of objects that can be inserted to be in contact with the wearer’s body, for example even objects with a non-phallic shape. Which, in some cases, for example when 2 women use it, can be preferred.
If it’s your first time using a strap-on, it’s important to proceed very slowly, use lots of lubricant and, above all, don’t underestimate the psychological ‘risks’ of this role reversal. The solution is, as always, open communication before, during and after. Stay in constant contact with your partner, ask them repeatedly if they’re enjoying what is happening, ask for instructions on whether and how to continue. And, if you enjoy the game, over time it will become as natural as making love… au naturel!
Sensory and BDSM Play
There’s a whole series of accessories that it would perhaps be inappropriate to call sex toys but that are still used to play with sex, especially in the BDSM context. Think of a pair of handcuffs that prevent your movements and put you completely at the partner’s mercy, think of a blindfold that prevents you from predicting their next moves, think of a pair of nipple clamps that painfully enhance your sensations… The list can go on and on, but let’s say that the common denominator is that these are objects that perform a double function, one on a physical level and one on a mental level.
Even more than introducing a sex toy into the couple, introducing an element of BDSM play can be extremely difficult, especially if you feel a great desire to try something more transgressive but are afraid that your partner is completely foreign to this world. Direct communication would certainly be the simplest way to breach the subject, but you can also proceed gradually, and, we recommend, always in an extremely playful way. That is, don’t show up to your partner with a dungeon-worthy arsenal, but try to playfully introduce some elements during intimacy. Cover their eyes with a piece of clothing you’ve just taken off, dare a slightly rougher caress here and there, make good use of dirty talking. And then proceed gradually. If you see that they like it, you can feel authorized to go a little further. If you find yourself in a limbo of indecision, that first timid play can be the basis for a first discussion: “Do you remember that thing we did last time? I really liked it, and you?”. And then, from there, proceed gradually. As always, we suggest you respect your partner’s timing and sensitivity. A “no” today isn’t necessarily an absolute “no” but, if that were the case, you can’t help but accept it.
Setting the Mood: Creating a Comfortable Environment
Whenever we indulge in moments of intimacy with our partner, it is important to be in a welcoming, warm, pleasant environment. But this is doubly true if we are going to use sex toys. It is essential that both partners, in addition to being comfortable in general (and therefore comfortable, warm, in an environment that enhances the sensuality of the situation perhaps with special lighting or background music), are also at ease in the situation. That is, they are both curious and excited about the idea of using a sex toy. That’s why, as always with sex, consent is fundamental.
The environment, as we know, is a very important container of our moments of sensuality. Make it as welcoming as possible by using candles or lamps strategically placed to create a soft light, choose background music that accompanies and enhances your moments together (and that constitutes a precious sound souvenir for the future), perhaps choose scented candles or diffusers to spread perfumes in the space. These too will build an ‘olfactory memory’ that can be very romantic at the right time.
In every sensual situation, it is important to proceed step by step and focus on the connection between the two partners, but even more so when using sex toys. It is essential to ask for continuous feedback from your partner to understand if the use of this foreign object remains to their liking at any time.
Communication and Consent: Keys To Enjoyable Exploration
When you use a sex toy with someone else, it is important to discuss, possibly in advance, what are the limits and comfort levels of both. Maybe there are parts that you or your partner do not want to touch or intensities that you do not want to reach. It is important that both partners are aware of this.
For the same reason, it is important to maintain constant communication with each other before, during and after using a sex toy. Not only to understand how far to go and how to use it, but also to know what sensations it arouses in us and in our partner, what we liked a lot, a little or not at all.
Every time we use a sex toy together, we give free rein to our erotic imagination, to our sensual exploration. In this way we learn how to use a couples vibrator, explore new worlds and build shared experiences. And these shared experiences constitute a small foundation of our relationship: they increase mutual trust, intimacy, the sense of complicity.
Safety Tips for Using Sex Toys as a Couple
Whenever you use a sex toy, choose objects made of premium materials (such as silicone, glass, steel) that are safe to use on the body.
Follow a few simple rules to observe hygiene to ensure peace of mind and safety of use. Use only clean sex toys, avoid sharing the same toy with your partner or, if you really have to, make sure it is clean before passing it and, if you really can’t clean it, cover it with a condom. Always use objects with a flared base for anal play. Never switch from vaginal to anal stimulation and, above all, vice versa, without first having thoroughly sanitized your toy.
Especially if you are a beginner, don’t get too carried away by enthusiasm. Measure your strength and use sex toys consciously, especially those for which some small precautions are necessary. Always proceed with great caution and lots of lube when it comes to anal sex, always choose the penis ring (and the sex toy in general) that is suitable for your level of experience and do not use it for more than half an hour at a time. Always read the instructions and, as they say, play consciously.
Conclusion
Using sex toys as a couple, in addition to giving us unforgettable moments of shared pleasure, allows us to strengthen the bond with our partner, deepen trust and complicity.
But, obviously, not all couples choose to try a sex toy and among those who try them, not all decide to continue. Our suggestion is to keep an open mind, to proceed at your own pace, indulging your curiosity and always listening to your partner. If the desire is shared, you could be at the beginning of an exciting journey of discovery.
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