There are countless ways to explore pleasure solo or with a partner. Amongst the countless different safe sex toys available, dildos often stand out for their versatility for solo or partnered play and their range of sizes and shapes.
However, if you’ve never used one before, you might have questions about how to safely use a dildo, which materials are the best, or how to engage in vaginal penetration and anal sex comfortably.
Dildos can be super fun toys to play with, but if you choose the wrong size or go too quickly, too soon, a playful exploration can go south real quickly. That’s why it’s so important to take a little time to learn about the right size, material, lubrication, and techniques.
That’s exactly why we’re here today – we’ve got you covered with everything you need to know about how to safely use a dildo.
In this guide, you’ll find:
- How to choose the right body-safe dildo for you (including size, shape, and materials)
- How to properly clean and store your dildos so they last a lifetime
- The best techniques for pleasurable insertion and play, solo or with a partner
- Dildo tips for minimizing discomfort and common mistakes to avoid
Are you ready to discover how using dildos can elevate solo or partnered play? Let’s dive in!
Choosing the Right Dildo for You
The great news is that there are so many options available for you to choose from!
The bad news is that with so many options available, you may get overwhelmed pretty easily.
Don’t worry – we’ve got you covered!
Here are the key factors to consider when selecting your first toy:
Size & Shape
Dildos come in all shapes and sizes. You can find fantasy dildos that mimic octopus tentacles and realistic dildos that look just like a real penis.
When it comes to sizes, there are often sizes that satisfy everyone’s taste. From below-average penis size to way above-average, you can pick not only the length of the dildo but also the girth.
You can also find straight or curved dildos. Curved ones are perfect for targeted G-spot stimulation, while straight dildos might be easier to handle and play around with if all you want is to stimulate the traditional in-and-out thrusting.
You’ll notice that depending on the material, the firmness will vary greatly. Some dildos are super soft and bendy, while others are firm and don’t have much flexibility. For people who find penetrative sex complicated, firm dildos might not be the best choice.
For beginners, we always recommend going with a bit smaller and more flexible dildos. You can always work your way up to a larger dildo, but if you’re just starting out, an average size (or even smaller) might be much more comfortable while you learn what feels best for you.
Material
Dildos can be made from a huge variety of materials, such as:
- Body-safe silicone: One of the most popular and best material choices is a medical-grade body-safe silicone. It’s non-porous, hypoallergenic, and super easy to clean and maintain while feeling great against the skin.
- Stainless steel: Another great material choice that’s non-porous and feels good. It’s versatile and easy to clean and maintain. However, dildos made from stainless steel are often rigid.
- Borosilicate glass: Similarly to stainless steel, this material is non-porous, versatile, and easy to clean and maintain. Feels good, and glass dildos often come in many fun textures. However, glass toys are also rigid, which is something to consider.
- Realistic skin-like materials: Some materials are created to mimic the human skin for a lifelike experience. While this can feel pleasurable, porous materials are hard to clean and maintain, as harmful bacteria accumulate much more easily.
- Jelly and rubber options: These are much cheaper and widely available materials. Sometimes, these porous materials may contain toxic materials like phthalates, and they’re hard to clean and maintain.
Features
Another thing to mention about dildos is that these toys can have different features that can offer very different experiences, such as:
- Suction-cup base: Having a suction cup at the base of the dildo (attachable or not) allows you to enjoy hands-free play and gives you much more versatility in how you want to use the dildo.
- Harness-compatible dildos: Dildos with a flared base are designed to be used on their own or fitted into a harness. They’re great if you want something you can use both alone and with a partner.
- Dual-ended dildos: Dual-ended dildos come with two different ends for dual penetration for couples. Sometimes, the ends offer different textures for different sensations.
- Vibrating dildos: Dildos with a motor are designed to give you the best of both worlds — vibrations for extra pleasure and the sensations of thrusting.
Best Dildos for Beginners
Okay, you get it – there are plenty of things to consider when choosing your first dildo. But you might still be confused (even more so, maybe) about which dildo is perfect for a beginner.
If you’re brand new to sex toys, go for something that has a slim and flexible design. The easier it bends with your body, the more comfortable the experience will be.
Also, opt for moderate-length dildos – anything between four to six inches of insertable length is more than enough, so you don’t feel overwhelmed.
Consider an ergonomic shape dildo for targeted G-spot stimulation, and maybe even one that vibrates like Elise 2. You get the option of using it without vibrations for thrusting motions or more like a G-spot vibrator when you want more targeted sensations.
Preparing for Safe Dildo Play
Alright, once you choose the perfect dildo, you’ll want to make sure you’re prepared. It’s the first time using a dildo can be intimidating – we get it. But if you’re prepared well and know exactly what you’re doing, it’ll be a smooth and pleasant experience.
Hygiene First
The first thing you want to know is that cleaning the dildo before and after each use is essential to keep the toy in good condition and to protect your health.
Cleaning the dildo will remove any dust, bacteria, or residue that may linger on the toy. Dildos made from body-safe silicone, glass, and stainless steel can be easily washed with warm water and soap.
Once you’re done, allow the toy to air-dry or pat it dry with a lint-free clean towel and either use it or store it away.
Now, the question is – how do we store it? Well, it’s pretty easy. Keep your dildo in a cool, dry place, away from direct sunlight. It’s always best to keep the toy in an individual lint-free pouch so it’s protected from dust and doesn’t come in contact with other toys.
Lubrication Is Key
Lube is so important for pleasurable dildo play! We can’t stress it enough.
Lube reduces friction and enhances all the sensations. So, why wouldn’t you want to use plenty of it to make the experience better for you?
Choosing the right lube can be overwhelming because there are so many options available to you.
Water-based lubes are often the best choice because they are neutral, easy to clean, don’t stain, and are compatible with most sex toys. So, you don’t have to worry too much about whether you can use the lube with your dildo or not.
Silicone-based lubes are long-lasting and feel silky, but they’re not suitable to be used with silicone toys because they can degrade the material over time.
Oil-based lubes are another option and they’re long-lasting and moisturizing. However, oil tends to be hard to clean and it may stain the sheets or clothes.
Setting the Mood & Relaxing the Body
Before your first date with your new dildo, treat it as a special occasion. Think of it as a chance to practice some self-love and self-care. So, you may want to create a comfortable space and engage in proper foreplay beforehand.
Turn off your phone and lock your doors so nobody can interrupt you. Light your favorite scented candle, play some sensual music in the background, and find a comfortable space to lie down.
You may pamper yourself beforehand with a nice long shower or a bath.
Once you’re ready, take some deep breaths and take a minute to connect with your body. Gently caress your body with your fingertips, explore your erogenous zones outside the genitals, and play with yourself before you bring the dildo into the mix.
How To Use a Dildo for Maximum Pleasure
Now that you know how to choose the right body-safe dildo for you and how to prepare for the most pleasant experience, let’s talk about the best self-pleasure with dildo tips.
Start Slow
One of the best penetration tips when it comes to dildo play is to use gentle, shallow strokes. For your first time using a dildo, take it easy and place the tip of the dildo at the entrance of the vagina (or anus). Using minimal pressure, if it feels good, insert just the tip.
Notice how your body feels — are you relaxed or tense? Is the feeling of the stretch pleasurable?
Avoid rough thrusts right off the bat, and focus more on gentle, sensual movements until your body is ready for more.
Everyone’s body is different, so it might take some time for you to find the right angle when using a dildo. Play around with the penetration angle by rotating the dildo when you thrust and lifting your hips (or lowering them) to see what feels the best.
Never ever push through pain. If something doesn’t feel good, pause and adjust. Apply more lube if needed, and only then continue.
Experiment with Techniques
There are different thrusting techniques you may want to try:
- Thrusting: The traditional in-and-out motion of sliding the dildo inside and out in whatever rhythm feels good. You can go shallow or deep.
- Grinding: For G-spot pleasure, you may want to move your hips as if you were grinding against the dildo while it’s inside you to explore a different type of sensation.
- Circular motions: As you push the dildo inside, move it in circular movements. You may move your hips, too, for extra friction.
Also, did you hear about blended orgasms? These are super powerful orgasms that can be achieved through combined stimulation of different pleasure spots.
Pair dildo penetration with manual stimulation of your genitals, either a penis or a clitoris, for more intense pleasure. You can use your favorite sex toy to help you add even more intense stimulation.
Best Positions for Dildo Play
Play around with different positions to find one that works best for you. We recommend these three positions for effortless dildo play:
- On your back: This position gives you controlled penetration where you can guide the toy however you like and adjust your hip and thrusting ankles with ease. Also, gives easy access to the genitals for blended stimulation.
- Kneeling: Kneeling or straddling the dildo gives you a chance to explore deeper penetration angles. If you have a suction-cup dildo, then this position is super easy and frees up your hands, so you can add additional stimulation of the clit, penis, or nipples.
- Against a wall: Another great position for suction-cup dildos where you fit your dildo to a wall, the side of the bathtub, or the back of a chair while you kneel on all fours or bend forward. You have access to the clit, penis, or nipples and can fully control how deep you want to go.
Using Dildos for Anal Play
You can easily use dildos for anal play if you want to explore anal pleasure with a partner or solo. But here are some things you want to know beforehand:
- The flared base is a must: To avoid accidentally losing the dildo inside the rectum (it’s easier than you think), make sure you choose a dildo specifically designed for anal play with a side or flared base.
- Lots of lube is essential: Anus doesn’t self-lubricate, which means that you need to add plenty of lube when using a dildo. This will help reduce friction and minimize discomfort, so don’t skip on the lube!
- Go slow: With anal play, you want to be super slow and intentional. Start with a lubed-up finger or a small plug and make your way toward a bigger toy like a dildo. Listen to your body, and don’t push past the pain. If you feel uncomfortable, pause and give your body time to adjust.
Using Dildos in Partner Play
Dildos are not reserved for solo play only. Using them with a partner can be a great way to spice things up in the bedroom and explore a whole new dimension of pleasure.
Incorporating Dildos in Foreplay
As a way to enhance foreplay, use a dildo on your partner or allow your partner to use the dildo on you. Taking charge of each other pleasure is an arousing experience that builds trust and fosters a sense of vulnerability.
A different way to go about it is to use a dildo on yourself while your partner watches, but give your partner control over how you use the dildo. Allow them to guide you with their words.
Alternating between different types of stimulation can also be a fun way to incorporate dildo play into foreplay. Allow your partner to use a dildo on you, and then perform oral or use their hands to pleasure you.
This can help build arousal and anticipation and is a way to practice edging, which heightens the pleasure.
Keep an open mind, and communicate with your partner during this experience to ensure everyone is engaged and feeling good.
Strap-On Play & Harness-Compatible Dildos
Dildos are great to use with a harness! If you have harness-compatible dildos in your collection, invite your partner to explore different kinds of penetration.
When buying a harness, look for one with adjustable straps and sturdy O-rings that fit your toy’s base perfectly. If possible, try on the harness beforehand to find out if it’s comfortable to wear and navigate around.
Whether it’s pegging or vaginal penetration with a harness, always discuss with your partner ahead of time what sort of toys you’ll be using and how you want this experience in the bedroom to go.
Openly discuss boundaries, desires, and safewords and share any worries and anxieties you may have. It’s normal to feel nervous before trying something new, so create an open and safe space for each other to share these thoughts and feelings so you can work through them together.
Common Mistakes To Avoid
Nobody is perfect, and it’s normal to make mistakes when playing with dildos, especially if you’re new to sex toys. Avoiding these common pitfalls may help make your solo and partnered play with dildos much smoother and pleasurable, so it’s useful to keep these in mind:
Skipping Lubrication
Lubricant for dildos is so important! Even if you have plenty of natural lubrication, adding a lube when playing with a dildo will make the experience more pleasurable.
Without lube, the friction can lead to discomfort, painful penetration, and, in some cases, even microtearing. To prevent all of that, ensure you’re always lubricated well.
Choosing a Dildo That’s Too Large
Listen, it’s normal to think that the bigger, the better. But sometimes, especially if you’re a beginner, going bigger might not be the best choice.
If you have little experience with penetration, especially anal penetration, you may want to start smaller and work your way up. Using a dildo that’s too big the first time may cause discomfort, which can turn you off from using it again.
To avoid getting discouraged and uncomfortable, opt for a smaller dildo, and once you get comfortable with that, upgrade to a bigger one.
Not Cleaning the Dildo Properly
Some people don’t take cleaning their sex toys too seriously, which has the potential to harm their sex toys and health.
If you don’t clean your dildos regularly (before and after each use), it may create a breeding ground for bacteria and increase the risk of infection.
So, always clean your dildos properly and store them correctly to protect your health and ensure the longevity of your sex toys.
Going Too Fast, Too Soon
It’s normal to get excited and become a little impatient when playing with sex toys. Happens to everyone!
However, harsh thrusting or pushing the dildo deeper before your body is ready for it can lead to soreness and injuries. Having an unpleasant experience may leave a bitter taste in your mouth, and nobody wants that.
Slow, steady movements and listening to your body so you know what feels good and whether you need more time to get aroused are essential. So, be patient with yourself.
Ignoring Material Safety
Not all dildos are made from body-safe materials. If you don’t pay attention to that when buying a new dildo, you may be putting your sexual health at risk.
Always avoid cheap, low-quality toys made from porous materials from brands you know nothing about. Porous materials tend to harbor bacteria more easily and are hard to clean properly, which may increase the risk of infections.
Instead, choose high-quality body-safe dildos made from materials like silicone, borosilicate glass, or stainless steel. These toys will last longer and are safer for your health.
Cleaning & Storing Your Dildo
We must talk about proper dildo cleaning and storage for the sake of your health and the longevity of your toys.
Cleaning Methods Based on Dildo Material
Different materials may require different care:
Non-porous Materials
Silicone, glass, and stainless steel dildos can be cleaned with warm water and mild soap. You may choose to use a specialized sex toy cleaner if you prefer, but it’s not a must.
Some people like to disinfect their dildos by boiling them for a couple of minutes. That’s not necessary if you clean your sex toys properly and often, so before you do that, check the manufacturer’s guidelines to see if that’s allowed and won’t harm your dildos.
Porous Materials
Porous materials like rubber, jelly, and TPE are not the safest options to use. But if you do have a dildo made from these materials, then you want to be extra cautious about washing them thoroughly and often, as well as using condoms when you use them to minimize the chances of harboring bacteria on the toy. When cleaning, use warm water and mild soap.
Dildo Storage Tips
When storing your dildos, follow the usual sex toy storage guidelines. Keep your dildos away from direct sunlight, heat, or excessive moisture, which can degrade the material over time faster.
It’s always best to keep your dildos in individual storage bags or cases to prevent dust accumulation and to prevent the toys from reacting with each other’s materials if they come into direct contact.
Exploring Advanced Techniques
Once you’re more comfortable and confident using dildos in a variety of ways, you may want to spice things up and try more advanced techniques. We’ve got a few ideas for you:
Temperature Play
Glass and stainless steel dildos are the perfect sex toys to use for some temperature play exploration if that’s something you’re curious to explore.
Shifts in temperature (cold or warm) can amplify the sensations and add an exciting twist to your usual erotic repertoire.
Place your dildos in a bowl of ice-cold water or warm water. After ten minutes, remove them from the water and test the temperature of the toy against your wrists to ensure it’s not too extreme.
You can run the cooled or warmed dildo along your body and explore external temperature play. Or, use the dildo as you would usually for penetration to enhance all the sensations.
Double Penetration
Double penetration may sound intense at first, but it’s not as scary as it sounds!
You may choose to use a dildo to explore double penetration with a partner. So, let’s say your partner penetrates the vagina while you use a dildo for anal penetration. Or vice versa.
If you’re flying solo, you can combine two different toys. Let’s say you use your favorite butt plug or prostate massager for anal penetration and use a dildo for vaginal penetration.
The feeling of fullness that double penetration offers can be extremely pleasurable. So, play around to see what works the best.
When engaging in double penetration, be mindful of the size of your toys. You want to use ones that are comfortable and pleasurable, so don’t stretch yourself too thin here by going too big too soon.
Hands-Free Play with Suction-Cup Dildos
Hands-free dildo play can be so much fun solo or with a partner!
Mount your suction-cup on a shower wall, the side of a bathtub, or even a sturdy chair or the floor. Depending on the height and the angle, play around with different positions to see which one hits the right spot.
Using a suction-cup dildo frees up your hands for clitoral or external stimulation so you can achieve blended orgasms much more easily.
And if your partner is joining in on the fun, they can watch you ride the dildo, which can be a huge turn-on for you and for them.
The Bottom Line
Embracing your sexual desires, like using sex toys for better orgasms, can be freeing and empowering. If you’ve been curious about using a dildo to enhance your solo play or even partnered play, by now, you should have all the guidance you need to do it safely and pleasurably.
By choosing a body-safe dildo that matches your preferences, you can explore vaginal penetration solo, anal play, and pegging with ease and comfort.
Remember, the key to pleasurable dildo play is to take it slow, check in with your body or your partner, use lots of lube, and prioritize feeling relaxed and mindful in the moment.
To ensure the longevity of your dildos and prioritize your sexual health, make sure you always clean your toys properly, store them the right way, and use condoms when needed. This will ensure the toys retain their quality and you’re protected from any potential infections.
Now that you know the best dildo tips and techniques and have the knowledge of how to choose the right one for you, it’s time to take action. Check out some of the top-rated, body-safe dildos to find one that fits your preferences and needs. Have fun exploring!
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