There are over 37 million single households in the United States, the highest number in history, and of those, Pew Research Center found that single Americans are split 50/50 between “looking” and “not looking” for a committed relationship.
Some choose not to seek out romantic relationships whatsoever, while others are willing to stay single until they find the “right” partner. This is where things become interesting.
Esther Perel says that our expectations for romantic partners are actually higher than ever, and we expect one person to satisfy all of the things that a community would fulfill.
Due to media and social conditioning, many people want the “perfect” partner – someone who ticks all the boxes. But do factors like height, facial features, and wealth matter when choosing a romantic partner?
Let’s see what the studies say.
Do Women Prefer Men with Masculine Features?
There is a common belief that heterosexual women want masculine men, and the reasoning is hidden in evolutionary psychology. In prehistoric times, women needed strong, masculine men to protect them and their children, so it’s only natural that women nowadays still feel the same – it’s in our DNA, after all.
However, research on whether women prefer men with masculine features is inconclusive. Some studies show that there is a preference for masculine facial features, while other studies show no difference, and even some that show that women might prefer men with slightly feminine facial features.
There is a theory for why women might prefer a man with more feminine features when choosing a long-term partner. Social researcher Macken Murphy says it’s because a man with more feminine features might have a set of qualities better suited for co-parenting and raising children than a masculine, “alpha” male would have.
Do Men Only Care about Physical Attractiveness?
You must be physically attracted to your partner for the relationship to work, right? It’s a common belief that for men, physical attractiveness is the most important factor when choosing a mate.
A study that examined mate preferences amongst different sexes in 45 countries found that men tend to value attractiveness and youth in women the most. Another study that examined over 2,000 people in Bangladesh found that men value fertility and reproduction the most.
The findings of both studies make sense from the evolutionary psychology perspective. Men used to seek out mates who were fertile and could bear children. Physical attributes like glowy and clear skin, hair, and body are seen as signs of good health and fertility.
Interestingly, men might not be the only ones who care about physical attractiveness. A small study found that straight women reported more frequent orgasms when they had sex with attractive men. While orgasms are not the main thing for many people when choosing a partner, the findings of the study might indicate that physical attractiveness is also important to women.
Do Women Want a Rich Man?
Recently, a video of a girl listing features she’s looking for in a partner went viral on TikTok. With over 2.9 million likes, it was even turned into hit songs. The first two things the girl in the video lists are that the man has to be working in finance and have a trust fund.
It partly became viral because of men commenting that women were using men only for money. Is it an outdated myth or a fact?
The study that reviewed mate preferences across 45 countries found that women tend to value their mate’s financial status and stability more than men do. Another study found that if a man becomes unemployed, their partner is more likely to end the relationship.
A large study examined over 9,000 people across 37 cultures to find out what matters for them in long-term relationships the most using ‘this or that’ dimensions. Of course, there were gender differences.
- When it came to Love vs. Status/Resources, men were more inclined to rate “Love” higher, while women often rated “Status/Resources” higher.
- When given a choice between “Dependable/Stable” and “Good Looks/Health,” women chose “Dependable/Stable.”
Evolutionary psychology believes that just like men used to be concerned with fertility, women used to look for partners who could support them and their children. So, it’s not that women value rich men because of materialistic desires, but rather because they can provide safety and security for their family.
Are Height and Strength Important?
Women on social media typically express that the height of their ideal partners are over 6 feet, but research doesn’t support this.
Muscularity, or ‘masculine’ features like a narrow waist with broad shoulders, matters much more when it comes to attractiveness than height does.
Macken believes that muscularity signals much more about someone’s personality than their height – men with strong bodies might have traits such as hard-working, disciplined, and consistent, which women find attractive.
The Age Gap
The common belief is that older men want younger women, and women are more interested in older men. As discussed above, men tend to prioritize physical attractiveness, and that includes youth. And studies found that women do tend to prefer men who are, on average, at least four years older than them.
The reason why women might prefer older men is that older men tend to have more resources to provide familial security.
