This article was scientifically reviewed by Human Sexuality expert Dr. Laurie Mintz. She is a professor, researcher, private practitioner and Fellow of the American Psychological Association.
It never fails to amaze me just how little we know about sex. I’ve written frequently about my frustration at the lack of empirical knowledge about the clitoris compared to the understanding of pretty much all of our other anatomy. Another thing we know little about is the difference, or similarity, between men and women’s orgasms.
When we look at the neurology of an orgasm, male and female climaxes are almost indistinguishable, as does the description men and women give for their experience. “It starts with a feeling of warmth deep inside me, and my muscles begin to tense up…” and so on.
But there is one big difference – frequency:
- Heterosexual men orgasm most times they have sex,
- followed by gay men,
- followed by bi men,
- followed by lesbian women,
- followed by heterosexual women, who orgasm somewhere between 45-65%.
This difference between the rates of orgasm between heterosexual women and men has been called “the orgasm gap.” The reasons for this gap are cultural, not biological.
Heterosexual sex tends to revolve around the activity, penetrative sex, that encourages male orgasm. Most women need external clitoral stimulation to orgasm. When women are asked “What’s your most reliable route to orgasm, only 4% say penetration alone.
A reason we know that the orgasm gap is cultural, not biological, is that women are more likely to orgasm with other women than with men, and they are equally likely to orgasm during self-pleasure. Men and women both reach orgasm through masturbation at equal ease, and report equal satisfaction when they climax alone too.
In one study of bisexual women who hooked up with women and with men (so same woman, same body) they were MUCH more likely to orgasm when their hookup partner was a woman than a man. But there’s plenty of ways to close the orgasm gap and empower women to orgasm.
Research shows that when women use vibrators they have easier and more frequent orgasms, and that a man’s endorsement of his partner’s vibrator is related to her satisfaction. For instance, SONA 2 clitoral massager uses sonic waves to stimulate the internal parts of the clitoris as well as the external.
I wish you ALL powerful, toe-curling orgasms.
See also:
- Are Male Multiple Orgasms Possible?
- How Men and Women Experience Arousal Differently
- Do Women Prefer Realistic or Neutral Looking Sex Toys?
Discover pleasure with:
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