“How much do you love me?” A former boyfriend asked me years ago. He was kneeling before me, on top of my bed, between my spread thighs as I lay down face up. Although it seemed to be the ideal position to receive oral sex, nothing could be further from the truth; I was about to receive my very first intimate bikini waxing session. I had asked for his help because I couldn’t bring myself to inflict so much pain on myself. But I never imagined that he would take advantage of my vulnerability at that moment and turn it into a game.
“A lot. A lot,” I said through clenched teeth.
“Are you sure?” He challenged me, before suddenly ripping off the first strip of wax.
“OOUUCHH!” I yelled, frowning and writhing on the bed. I felt a sharp pain followed by an intense burning sensation on my skin that took me by surprise. I knew it was going to hurt, but not that much.
“Do you really love me?” He asked me again, teasing me. He was clearly enjoying this.
“Yes…” I whispered, before tensing my body, anticipating the impending pain of the second strip being ripped off.
“I don’t believe you.”
“Yes, I do love you, I swear!” I exclaimed as he tore off the second strip of wax.
This was how the game continued until I was completely smooth. Before I could inspect the results of his work with my own eyes, he ran the tip of his finger over my skin, staring at the area intently.
“Are you happy with your work?” I asked. But when I saw his head lower in the direction of my newly soft vulva, I didn’t need an answer.
That’s when I realised that all the pain and discomfort had been worth it. Instead of going straight to the point so to speak, that is to say, the clitoral glans, he took his time to explore my new softness with his tongue. He worshipped every single millimetre of smooth skin on my pubis, before reaching my throbbing clitoris. Without hair, I learned that cunnilingus was infinitely more complete and pleasurable this way.
Despite this new discovery, maintaining that hairless look required a lot of effort, one that I wasn’t willing to make on a regular basis. So I only removed all of my public hair for very, very special occasions. In addition, I knew that doing it regularly wasn’t very good for the skin. But more importantly, I learned that this soft sensation was not so special or unique if I was always shaved.
Although I have very good memories of that first hair removal session, interestingly, my current epilation methods could not be more different.
I no longer suffer for intimate beauty. On the contrary. In fact, it is a process that excites me tremendously. This is partly because I have done laser hair removal on my excess public hair. That is to say, everywhere except for on my labia. In order to be completely smooth, all I have to do is trim what little hair I have ‘left over’ on my labia.
The only thing that hasn’t changed since then is that I still need a very good reason to do it.
After receiving Tiani 24K from LELO, I already had the perfect excuse to get smooth again. As it is an erotic toy bathed in 24-carat gold, with a golden part that is worn outside, I was convinced that pubic hair would get in the way of the jewel.
This time, I have full control over the hair removal process and the game I intend to play.
Instead of being at the mercy of a man, I remove my own hair myself, a couple of hours before meeting my current lover at home. We’re supposed to be having dinner, but he has no idea what kind of cuisine I am cooking up for him; which only increases my sense of power.
After I shower, I sit in front of the mirror and spread my legs. Next, I apply some shaving gel to my pubic hair. As I hold the razor, I can’t help but imagine what the big ‘reveal’ moment will be like.
It’s only when I’m in front of a mirror that I realise I must be a narcissist. I get turned on by the image of my own full, soft labia in the reflection. Running my fingers over my skin to make sure I haven’t missed any stubborn hairs, I feel my lips swollen, heavy and burning. If I were a man, it would probably be the equivalent of having a persistent erection that just wouldn’t go down.
I go back to the shower to rinse off the remains of the gel. The warm water temporarily relieves the feeling of heaviness between my thighs. Then I sit in front of the mirror again, ready for the next phase in the process. To avoid possible irritations, I apply pure aloe vera gel which, unintentionally, mixes with my own Venusian nectar, due to my extreme arousal.
Next, I pick up my Tiani 24K and insert it very slowly, still looking at myself in the mirror, without missing a single detail of the process. I feel mischievous like I’m a criminal plotting my next crime. Once inside, I go through the vibration modes with the remote. The temptation to leave it on is almost overwhelming, but I decide I’d better wait to share it. I want to feel it during penetration, since in theory it is a toy intended for couples, and not only for those individuals who practise sexual narcissism like me. Also, when it comes to having an orgasm or moaning, I stop being a narcissist and I become an exhibitionist: I absolutely have to be seen.
Just as I’m lost in my explicit posing and admiring how the golden part covers my hungry clit and enhances my soft lips, the intercom rings. Suddenly, I’m transported back to reality. I think about putting a kimono on, but in the end, I come to the conclusion that with an erotic jewel on my crotch, I don’t need to wear anything else.
I head to the door with a smile on my face and the remote control in my hand, about to experience my great moment of total power. I am aware that it will be an intense but fleeting moment because as soon as I hand the remote over to him, I will be at the mercy of a man once again.