Some people have the desire to tie up or be tied up, in some sort of restraint, to have a sensory experience and to marvel at the artistic expression. If you’re one of those people or someone who has your interest peaked, you may enjoy the art of rope play.
This type of play falls under BDSM and is a way to build trust, connection, and creativity between partners.
There are two types of rope bondage, shibari, also called kinbaku, which is Japanese-inspired artistic rope bondage, and Western rope bondage, which is restraint-based. Shibari means “tying,” and kinbaku means “tight binding,” and both terms are used interchangeably.
Rope play may include simply being tied up and stimulated, or it can lead to people having sex with one another. For some, rope play is meditative and relaxing. It builds trust between two partners.
In this rope play guide, we’ll discuss types of rope to use, beginner knots, and how to build confidence during rope play scenes. This guide may also encourage experienced practitioners to seek new techniques or purchase a new type of rope or bondage gear.
Rope Play Safety: Essential Precautions
Like all things BDSM-related, communication and consent are key with BDSM rope tying. Being in a vulnerable position, partners need to discuss boundaries, safe words, and comfort levels before tying any knots.
Consent is when someone gives someone else enthusiastic approval to do something to them. Consent can be revoked at any time. The art of rope play is rooted in safety and consent. There’s a willingness to trust a partner but that trust comes from the established boundaries and conversation discussed beforehand.
Consent models in BDSM and rope restraint play include:
- SSC (Safe, Sane, and Consensual) which focuses on safety, rational decision-making, and mutual agreement.
- RACK (Risk-Aware Consensual Kink) acknowledges the risk involved with BDSM and allows parties to understand and accept those possible risks.
All participants in rope bondage should create a safe word. “Yes,” and “no” don’t hold the same weight in BDSM as they do in traditional sex. There could be roleplaying involved, which could be confusing for certain parties, or there may be a ball gag that prevents a person from speaking clearly. In order to avoid any difficult situations, partners should pick a word like “red” for “stop” or “no.” Some people get creative with their words, too, like using “strawberry” for “yes.” This is up to you and your partner to decide.
Comfort levels should be another area of discussion before moving forward with any type of play. Go over any hard “no’s” beforehand, and remember, a person can always change their mind during a scene. What was a “yes” before the scene could quickly turn into “red” once the scene begins.
Some areas to prioritize before beginning to tie up include:
- Know the essential areas involving circulation and nerve safety. Learn and educate yourselves on where to avoid tying tight knots. This could be wrists, upper arms, or behind the knees.
- Keep scissors or safety shears nearby. If there is an emergency, you will need a quick-release tool.
- Start with floor-based ties before going into suspension. Suspension rope play is for those who are advanced.
And as always, check in during a scene. Making sure your partner is safe, comfortable, and okay, won’t interrupt your play time. It’s crucial to make sure they are still present and willing to participate.
Feel free to ask your partner:
- Are you feeling any numbness?
- Do you feel any tingling?
- Is there a rope or knot you’d like me to undo?
- Is there anything you want me to adjust?
Choosing the Right Rope for Bondage
A huge part of BDSM rope tying is, of course, picking out the right type of rope. It’s not one size fits all, and depending on what the submissive prefers, there is a wide range to choose from.
Common rope restraint play materials include:
- Cotton rope is perfect for a beginner who is looking for something soft and gentle that won’t chafe the skin.
- Jute rope is a traditional shibari option made of natural fiber. It has a slightly rough texture and a firm hold.
- Hemp rope is strong and durable. It’s softer than jute and ideal for decorative knots and restraint play.
- Nylon rope is slick and synthetic. This option is ideal for someone looking for a quick-release tie.
Rope length to consider is 15-30 feet for basic ties and decorative bondage. If you’re looking for complex harnesses or suspensions, 50 feet or more is ideal.
Beginner Rope Bondage Knots and Techniques
So, you have your rope and your partner. Now where to begin?
Getting into rope play may seem intimidating, especially if you don’t have experience with bondage knots or tying someone up. The best thing to do is practice and know that you’ll be more comfortable at tying knots or being tied up as time goes on.
Let’s dive into some beginner bondage knots.
Single and double column tie (Best for wrists and ankles)
Why it’s a great knot:
- This knot is secure but comfortable for beginners.
- It creates an adjustable restraint without cutting circulation.
This knot is best for restraint play and functional bondage.
How to tie:
- Wrap rope twice around wrists or ankles.
- Thread rope between the limbs and cinch gently.
- Tie a secure but easy-to-undo knot.
Chest and body harnesses (Best for sensory play and aesthetic bondage)
Why it’s a great knot:
- This knot creates beautiful patterns while restricting movement.
- It can be used for intimate or artistic photography. Perfect for those with a love for the art of rope play.
It’s best for those who want to explore decorative bondage with a sensual touch.
How to Tie:
- Start with a loop around the torso, securing the rope at the back.
- Criss-cross rope across the chest and under the breasts/pecs.
- Adjust tightness so the harness is snug but not restrictive.
Frogtie (Best for partial immobilization and roleplay)
Why it’s a great knot:
- Frogtie restricts leg movement for playful submission.
- It’s comfortable for longer sessions when properly tied.
It’s best for power dynamics and restraint-focused play.
How to Tie:
- Bend the submissive’s legs at the knee.
- Wrap rope around the thigh and ankle together.
- Secure with a looping knot that prevents slipping.
How To Enhance Sensation and Play with Rope Bondage
Curious about what to do once the knots are all secured? Well, being tied up is only part of the fun. Then comes additional sensations, props, and experiments that you can incorporate into your rope play scene.
A popular addition is pairing rope bondage with sensory play. This includes using feathers, ice cubes, or wax play for heightened arousal. (Tip: make sure to find a body-safe wax at a sex shop, don’t use any ordinary candle).
Other folks like to experiment with forced positions. This may include restricting movement to enhance power dynamics and anticipation.
Lastly, vibrators or impact play can be introduced to a scene for more excitement. When someone is tied up, their body becomes receptive to external stimulation, and they are much more sensitive. Make sure they are comfortable with additional toys and watch them wiggle with arousal.
Common Mistakes To Avoid in Rope Play
Rope play can be a highly skilled form of BDSM, so it’s imperative to make sure you understand the safety measures and common mistakes with this form of kink.
A few mistakes include:
- Tying the rope too tight. When someone is tied up, there should be a little bit of movement and circulation.
- Not checking for nerve pinching. Don’t wrap the rope too tight around the submissive’s wrists or upper arms. Take your time tying each knot.
- Skipping communication. Check-in and discuss what your partner is comfortable with before, during, and after a scene.
- Diving into suspension too soon. We know it’s exciting, but if you’re a beginner, make sure to master floor-based knots and ties before jumping into suspension bondage.
Advancing Your Rope Play: Next-Level Techniques
If you’re ready to up your game with BDSM rope bondage and move beyond shibari and kinbaku patterns, here are a few options when advancing your rope-playing skills.
Next-level bondage art can include decorative shibari patterns that involve more intricate body ties that expand on artistic expression. For advanced players only, there are bunny suspensions, ankle suspensions, cocoon suspensions, and butterfly suspensions. Each are individually unique and can advance you to a more tantalizing level of rope art. Remember that rope suspensions require strong anchor points, secure harnesses, and proper training. Depending on where you’re located, you could join a BDSM rope-tying class or watch tutorials online for proper knowledge.
Another advancement in rope play is the inclusion of roleplaying, where dominance and submission dynamics include commands, more sensory play, and teasing.
Conclusion and Call to Action
BDSM rope play is a historically rich, meditative, and hypnotic form of art. The beauty and intimacy of this form of play can invoke creativity that continues to change and expand as you practice and participate in it.
Since rope play is more about surrendering yourself to your partner, opening communication and practicing safe, consensual bondage techniques can bring you closer to current or future partners as well as open doors for other forms of play.
To learn more about rope play, read instructional books on Shibari, watch tutorials on YouTube, and check out beginner-friendly rope kits.
Want to add more? Check out the tassel flogger or the petite LILY 3 for extra stimulation while constricted and tied up.
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