Foreplay matters. Think of it as an appetizer to sexual activity, getting you aroused and setting the tone for a more satisfying sexual experience. Many see sex as a goal-oriented activity that leads towards the finish line known as climax. But pleasure is a journey, not a destination, and foreplay is a fabulous way to embark on that adventure.
For women, arousal takes time, and studies say that foreplay can help. Foreplay toys can help increase natural lubrication and ensure you feel as turned on and excited to engage in intercourse. After all, sex toys aren’t just intended to be used during solo play. In fact, they can be a valuable resource for couples to enhance intimacy and connection, exploring new sexual territory and understanding each others’ desires and fantasies better.
In this guide, we’re going to do a deep dive into the best sex toys and games, how to introduce them into your relationship, and techniques that will help you elevate your pleasure with steamier, more playful foreplay.
How To Talk to Your Partner About Using Sex Toys
Open Communication and Consent
Bringing sex toys into your relationship can be a sensitive conversation to start. But opening the door to this topic sets a foundation of communication and openness. Consider bringing it up during pillow talk or at another time when you’re alone and both of you are in a good mood.
You can start by complimenting the other person, letting them know certain things that you enjoy during sex with them, and explaining how sex toys can enhance certain sensations even more.
Stick to language that’s positive rather than focusing on dissatisfaction, explaining how hot you think it could be for a partner to use foreplay toys on you or have both of you use them. Still feeling shy? If you want to give some context before your chat, share this link, telling them how you read an interesting article about couples using sex toys that you want to send them and discuss later.
Don’t buy a sex toy to use together before discussing it beforehand, as this can make your partner feel pressured. Additionally, don’t whip one out during sex — this can also add to pressure, and you want to ensure that they consent to using it beforehand.
Addressing Common Concerns
Some partners might feel as though sex toys will replace them, but this is the perfect chance to remind them that while you’re still very much aroused by them, this process isn’t about ego or feeling pressure to perform better. It’s a way to improve connection and enhance pleasure together. Reassuring them that a toy could never replace them and what turns you on about them. It’s just a way to add a sense of adventure and ensure that both of you are as aroused as possible, which should always be the goal!
Choosing Toys Together
You can shop for a toy together online from the privacy of your home and turn it into an exciting experience (that anticipation is a kind of foreplay in itself!) For further guidance when shopping, read toy reviews, watch demo videos, and discuss preferences with each other. You might learn something new about each other in the process!
Best Sex Toys for Foreplay & How To Use Them
Clitoral Vibrators & Bullet Vibrators
These vibrators, which are ideal for pinpoint sensation, can be used to lightly tease various erogenous zones, like the neck, thighs, perineum, or nipples. Suction toys can mimic the feeling of a mouth sucking on the nipples. For added couple intimacy, use vibrators on the clitoris or labia during kissing or oral play to amp up the sensation. You can show your partner where it feels good to use the toy on you.
Massage Wands & Sensual Massage Oils
While clitoral vibrators and bullets are great for a pinpointed feel, massage wands allow for broad stimulation. Start your foreplay off with a sensual rubdown. Using your hands, rub in massage oil before using the wand to massage your partner’s shoulders, back, and thighs before moving to the inner thighs and genitals. LELO warming massage oil heats things up even more and has a delicious flavor to lick your partner head to toe or pivot into oral play.
Finger Vibrators
A finger vibrator acts as an extension of your hand, making it perfect for beginners or those who want a more organic foreplay toy experience. Depending on the design, slip it over your finger or between two fingers, enhancing manual stimulation with subtle vibrations that you can control to speed up, make more intense, or explore different vibration patterns.
Couples’ Vibrators & Wearable Toys
Remote-controlled vibrators allow you to play around with different power dynamics and sex games either in private or in public. Taking turns with who has control can build anticipation while allowing you to explore a sub-dom dynamic. Vibrators with a remote control can be used during foreplay and to tease in public. Wearable toys can be worn during penetration and stimulate the G-spot and clitoris to encourage simultaneous orgasm.
Nipple and Sensory Play Toys
Sensation play indulges the senses in different ways to enhance erotic pleasure and add new sensations into the mix. Vibrating nipple clamps heighten sensitivity, while feather ticklers (or an ice cube) can gently tease and send shivers up your partner’s body. Looking to get a little rougher? A Wartenberg wheel can take things up a notch.
Blindfolds & Restraints
BDSM can enhance mystery and anticipation while introducing power dynamics that can heighten excitement further. With any form of BDSM, getting consent beforehand is key. Consider using a vibrator or sensory play toy on your partner while they’re blindfolded or restrained to enhance sensation while exploring submission.
Cock Rings & Penis Vibrators
Cock rings and penis vibrators are designed to increase blood flow and sensitivity for both partners. Both can be used as a foreplay toy to enhance a handjob or blowjob. A vibrating cock ring can be worn during grinding or dry humping and simultaneously pleasure the clitoris or anus. Both a cock ring and a penis vibrator can be used like a handheld massager to tease sensitive areas before penetration.
Oral Play Enhancers
Oral sex is one of the best ways to give (or receive) pre-penetration attention. This can be done with vibrating tongue rings, stimulating sprays, and balms, which offer a tingling, cooling, or warming sensation. There are even oral sex balms designed specifically for this purpose. Edible body powders and flavored lubes can also encourage playful licking and teasing with a tasty twist.
Fun Ways to Use Sex Toys in Foreplay
Start Slow & Build Up Excitement
Anticipation is the key to good foreplay, so don’t rush through it. Start slowly, layering in sensations with your hands and mouth, adding in toys and starting lightly to explore sensitivity.
Play a Foreplay Game
Turn up the heat before the main event with naughty dice or card games that let fate decide your pleasure. These games incorporate unpredictable toy play and allow you to take turns exploring different body parts.
Experiment with Temperature Play
Temperature play is a form of BDSM that uses the thrill of heat and cold for an electrifying effect. Metal or glass sex toys can be heated up or cooled down with water. Warming or cooling lubes and massage candles are accessories you can include in your session and are a great way to enhance sensation without sex toys.
Use a Remote-Controlled Toy in Public
There’s nothing like a little public play via shared secret control to spice things up and drive each other wild with anticipation. Wearable toys like cock ring and vibrating ben wa balls can let you explore pre-intimacy play before you get home to each other, when you’re out on a date, or even when running errands.
Layering Sensations for Maximum Pleasure
Laying sexual sensations can lead to a symphony of pleasure. Use a vibrator during oral play, or use multiple toys at the same time, like an internal vibrator and a wand. You can also weave in sensation play, using a teasing feather as a toy that rumbles against your body.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
Not Communicating Preferences & Boundaries
Open lines of communication create a necessary safe space. Always get enthusiastic consent from a partner and discuss likes or dislikes beforehand. Check in with your partner frequently and consider establishing a safe word.
Going Too Fast, Too Soon
Rushing into toy play too fast can kill the mood. Gauge sensitivity by easing into foreplay toys for maximum comfort. Start with kissing, cuddling, and hands first.
Choosing the Wrong Toy for Foreplay
Foreplay is all about getting warmed up, so start with something gentle like a vibrator on a lower setting or a feather tickler rather than a high setting or a penetrative toy.
Skipping Lubrication
Using lubricant ensures smooth and comfortable stimulation — it enhances pleasure and prevents injury.
Ignoring Hygiene & Toy Cleaning
Safety is sexy, so keep those toys sanitized for safe play to avoid the spread of bacteria.
Safe Use & Aftercare
Cleaning & Storing Your Toys Properly
After use, sanitize toys with antibacterial soap and warm water or a sex toy cleaning spray. Store toys in separate, clean pouches to prevent damage, as silicone toys rubbing against each other can cause damage.
Checking Toy Compatibility with Lubricants
Not all lubes are equal — while silicone lube can be longer-lasting, it can damage silicone toys, so always use water-based lube on them. All lubes can be used with glass or metal toys.
Post-Foreplay Connection
Even when foreplay is over, it’s crucial to check in on your partner’s experience and make sure everyone is comfortable and satisfied. You can have a verbal check-in to deepen intimacy. Aftercare is also important — communicate what that might entail, whether it’s cuddling, showering together, or eating pizza in bed!
Mastering the Art of Foreplay
Foreplay toys, accessories, and tips can enhance playtime and deepen intimacy between couples. They’re the secret ingredient to more satisfying sexual encounters. The key is to explore together, communicate openly, and check in with your partner before, during, and after play. All of this will help you better understand each other in and out of the bedroom.
To take your relationship to the next level, check out the best-rated foreplay-friendly toys for couples.
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