This article was written by Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a social psychologist, researcher and award-winning educator. For more information:
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A growing number of people appear to be exploring what sex toys can do for their intimate lives. Data from representative US surveys find that most women and nearly half of men have used a toy before, either during solo vs. partner play. However, many people have yet to try a sex toy, in part, due to the fact that there’s still some stigma surrounding them. Some people feel a sense of shame around using toys, perhaps because they (incorrectly) believe that using toys reflects some type of sexual inadequacy.
However, those who have never tried sex toys before may be missing out. Toys offer a wide range of benefits, whether used alone or with a partner. In this article, we’re going to explore some of the biggest benefits of using sex toys and how they can help you to improve your sex life.
Enhanced Sexual Pleasure and Orgasm Improvement
Why use sex toys? Perhaps the most obvious benefit of using toys is that they can provide new and different types of sensation that would otherwise be difficult to replicate. Motorized toys have the added benefit of offering customizable sensation so that you can adapt it to your body and your needs in that moment, whether you’re looking for something mild or intense.
Sex therapists often recommend trying sex toys as a form of sexual exploration because they can help you to unlock new pleasure sources. For example, different types of toys can be used to explore clitoral, G-spot, prostate, or perineum stimulation and help you to identify new erogenous zones.
Can you use a sex toy for better orgasms? Toys can also not only increase the odds of having an orgasm, but they can increase the intensity of climax, too. For instance, use of dual stimulation toys (e.g., toys that stimulate the clitoris and G-spot simultaneously) or combining a toy with another form of stimulation (e.g., using a prostate massager coupled with penile stroking) is something that many people find leads to deeper, longer, and more pleasurable orgasms.
Increasing Sexual Self-Confidence and Body Awareness
As mentioned above, toys can help you to better understand your own body and what does and doesn’t bring you pleasure. Having this self-understanding is key to building up your sexual self-confidence because it equips you with the knowledge you need to tell your partner what you want. In this way, using sex toys can be a form of sexual empowerment.
Knowing what it is that brings you pleasure is essential for good sexual communication. When we don’t know what it is that we really want or enjoy, we often leave it to our partners to guess—and some people aren’t very good guessers! It’s a lot easier to tell your partner what you want when you truly know and understand your body.
Understanding your body can also help in cultivating body positivity, which is something that many people struggle with. Knowing what works for you can help you to feel more comfortable in your own skin and more relaxed during sexual encounters with partners.
Sexual Wellness: The Health Benefits of Sex Toys
Vibrators and other stimulating toys enhance blood flow to the genital area, which can help in both promoting sexual arousal and maintaining genital health. Genital health has often been described as a “use it or lose it” phenomenon. When we don’t have regular or adequate blood flow to the genitals, they can sometimes experience tissue shrinkage and other problems (e.g., vaginal dryness and pain). Using toys or otherwise engaging in regular masturbation or sex can go a long way toward maintaining your sexual health for the long haul.
Certain types of toys, such as Kegal balls and vibrating pelvic trainers, can also be helpful in strengthening your pelvic floor and improving the tone of the muscles that surround the genitals. When the pelvic floor is weak, it can contribute to sexual dysfunction and other problems, such as incontinence.
In addition, toys can be useful in providing menstrual cramp relief, with vibrators helping to relax the tissues and alleviate period pain. Research has actually shown that masturbation (particularly when it leads to orgasm) can help in relieving all kinds of pain. Furthermore, new research suggests that masturbation and use of toys can also help in relieving various symptoms of menopause.
Provides Stress Relief and Enhances Mental Well-Being
Mental health and pleasure go together. By helping to unlock more orgasms, sex toys can enhance mental well-being. For example, upon orgasm, our brains and bodies release a number of chemicals, including oxytocin and endorphins, that promote positive mood and reduced feelings of stress. Some studies suggest that this “afterglow” effect can last for up to a day or longer.
The brain chemicals released upon orgasm can also help us to fall asleep faster and get better quality sleep. Research has shown that, for men and women alike, both masturbation and sex to the point of orgasm is associated with reports of improved sleep.
We can also use toys as a way of practicing mindfulness. For example, using a toy during masturbation and keeping your mind focused on the physical sensations, and returning to those sensations every time your mind begins to wander, can help you learn to be more sexually present. In this way, using toys can be a valuable form of sexual self-care.
How Sex Toys Improve Intimacy
Using toys with a partner can be a way boosting couples intimacy and providing other relationship benefits. For example, a vibrating cock ring is a toy that can bring pleasure to both partners simultaneously. Likewise, using a remote-controlled toy can be a way to experience something fun and new together that enhances the experience for everyone involved.
Another reason to use toys with a partner is because it encourages more open sexual communication. After all, if you’re going to try a toy together, you need to talk about how you’re going to use it! So, in this way, toys can be a handy prompt to discuss your desires and boundaries.
Furthermore, the novelty of using sex toys is a helpful way of preventing bedroom boredom. For many people, especially those in long-term monogamous relationships, sex has a tendency to become routine after a while, and people start to lose desire. Research shows that regularly trying new things in bed together, including introducing new toys, can be a handy way to boost desire, keep the spark alive, and prevent things from becoming dull.
A Safe and Reliable Alternative to Partnered Sex
Of course, not everyone has a partner and, even if you do, there may be times when they are unavailable or when you simply want solo pleasure. In these situations, sex toys can become your new best friend.
They can help you to fulfill your sexual needs all on your own, and without any external pressure. They are also a way that you can safely explore your fantasies and turn-ons. Toys are a great way to mix it up and try different sensations, all while in a comfortable, judgment-free zone.
For example, maybe you’ll get a little bit kinky and masturbate with a toy while wearing a blindfold and letting your fantasies run wild.
Accessibility and Inclusivity Benefits
Sex toys are for everyone! Adaptive sex toys can be useful to those with mobility issues or who might otherwise have chronic health conditions, such as arthritis, that can pose certain challenges to sexual fulfillment. For example, hands-free and remote-controlled toys can open up new opportunities for pleasure, while sex furniture can make certain positions and activities more practical and comfortable.
Modern sex toys also increasingly cater to persons of all genders and sexualities. The proliferation of inclusive toys mean that, no matter your body, there’s something out there for you.
Conclusions
Why do people use sex toys? From improving our sexual health and well-being to experiencing more pleasure to better understanding our own bodies to boosting intimacy in relationships, sex toys have the potential to benefit our intimate lives in myriad ways.
If you’re new to the idea of using sex toys, go out and explore the options. There are many, and it can be a little overwhelming, so start by asking yourself what kind of sensation you want to experience first. This will help you to narrow things down to a certain type of toy, at which point you can start researching specific products to find the one that suits you best in terms of your needs and comfort level.
If you’re looking for some additional help in terms of where to start, click here to learn more about sex toy types.
What are you waiting for? Go try a beginner-friendly toy, such as a bullet vibrator or a masturbation sleeve, and discover the benefits of sex toys for yourself!
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