I have a “more is more” mentality around orgasm. You too?
There are all kinds of documented health benefits that come with orgasm, like lower stress, better sleep, increased immunity, and get this…glowing skin. Maybe they’re born with it! Maybe they masturbate.
There are two ways to have many orgasms in a single session…
Multiple orgasms: when orgasms happen one after the other.
- Vulva owners have no refractory period (aka, necessary downtime between orgasms), and can experience these in quick succession.
- Penis owners have a longer refractory period: anywhere from 30 minutes to 24 hours.
Blended orgasms: when you have different types of orgasm that happen simultaneously.
- Vulva owners can experience a clitoral orgasm and a G-spot orgasm.
- Penis owners can experience a penile orgasm and a prostate orgasm.
Of the two categories, blended orgasms are more accessible for everyone – and, tbh more explosive, since they all involve internal orgasm. Think full-body waves of pleasure, emanating from deep inside your body.
So let’s get hedonistic, shall we? Here’s how to try blended orgasms, according to your genitals.
If you have a vulva…
- Prepare for long, luxurious solo sex: we’re going to be here a minute, since internal nerve endings take a minute to wake up.
- Assemble your tools: in my experience, a dual stimulator is best for this type of masturbation. LELO makes one called the Enigma Cruise, which features Cruise Control technology that ensures no drop in intensity when it presses against the body for an intense, deep release. It has both a sonic wave stimulator for the clitoris, and an internal stimulator for the G-spot. And not one, not two, but EIGHT different settings varying from a teasing murmur to a satisfying pulse. Think oral sex and penetration simultaneously, like a skilled lover going down on you, who knows exactly when to add a finger.
- Do some kegels right now. Literally while reading this article. Every orgasm is more powerful when you’ve got a toned pelvic floor. Disclaimer: if you have vaginismus, kegels are not the move. Visit a pelvic floor physical therapist!
Prep steps complete, here’s what you do in the moment.
- Have a clitoris orgasm first, before you insert anything. This engorges your genitals with blood, which makes internal nerve endings more sensitive.
- Remember: you don’t have a refractory period! Aren’t you lucky. That said, you can numb out your nerve endings, so avoid the temptation to give yourself clitoral orgasm after clitoral orgasm. Tough I know.
- Mindfully insert your toy, using lots of lube. Your chance of orgasm goes exponentially up with lube in the picture.
- Edge – a lot. It’s very likely that even with a toy inserted, you’ll have a clitoral orgasm again. Understandable: the clitoris itself is external, so nerve endings are much easier to stimulate. But the G-spot is actually part of the clitoral network, so it’s not a separate entity – just a region that takes more time to stimulate, since the nerve endings are tucked deep inside. If you feel another clitoris orgasm coming on, but nothing’s happening on the inside quite yet, edge! And listen – it’s not the end of the world if you do have a clitoris orgasm. The orgasm police aren’t coming. You’ll just up your chances of a blended orgasm if you hold off.
- Pulse the toy against your G-spot. While the toy is vibrating, that is. If you feel an internal orgasm coming on, great news: you’re pretty much bound to have a clitoral orgasm, too.
Blended orgasms are a learned skill, vulva owners. But in my eyes, one of the biggest payoffs is teaching your body how to orgasm during penetration, which is lovely. So if it takes a few solo sex sessions to pull off? Worth it.
If you have a penis…
- Prepare for anal play: it’s happening! But we’re going to do it via solo sex.
- Assemble your tools: look for a prostate massager with benefits – like LELO’s Soraya Beads.
- Grab the lube: you’re gonna need it.
Prep steps complete, here’s what you do in the moment.
- Do masturbate, but don’t finish yet. The cool thing about prostate orgasms is you don’t have to be hard to have one. But you’re after a blended orgasm, my friend! So get your genitals engorged by masturbating – just don’t climax.
- Once you’re erect, mindfully insert your prostate massager. Use lots of lube, go very slowly, and choose your position. Sitting on the toy is nice – this puts pressure on your perineum, which can feel really good. Or, if you prefer to be completely relaxed, which is helpful if you’re new-ish to anal, lying on your side or back works too.
- Turn on the vibration at a low setting. If you go too high all at once, your sphincter muscles will clench. That’s not what we want. Start gently, and as your body acclimates to the sensation, you can go higher.
- If it’s your first time, chances are good you’ll come before the prostate orgasm itself. It’s a really, really sensitive gland, and you’ll feel very stimulated in the moment. If that happens: all good! Try again later, and remember to edge.
- If you feel a prostate orgasm coming on, masturbate. As in, use your hand on your penis. The holy grail of this experience is prostate orgasm, plus penile orgasm (where you come) all at once. If you do it, amazing! If not, totally OK: you’re learning how to relax into anal stimulation, and this can take some time.
And there you have it: a user’s guide to blended orgasms. Double the pleasure, double the fun – and exponential body magic.