Exploring Intimacy Through Sex Toys

Last updated:October 28, 2025

There’s so much more to intimacy than meets the eye. Intimacy opens the door to not only experiencing immense amounts of physical pleasure but also emotional closeness, trust, and connection. This can help strengthen your relationship with your partner and with yourself.

A great way to help enhance intimacy is by bringing sex toys into the mix. Sex toys aren’t just for solo play; they can also be super fun when used with a partner.

Incorporating sex toys into your sex life can enhance communication, foreplay, and shared pleasure in relationships. This guide will help you explore new levels of connection and pleasure with your partner.

How Sex Toys Can Strengthen Intimacy in Your Relationship

If sex toys are new to you or in your relationship, it can be a bit nerve-racking to start out. But there are endless reasons to incorporate them.

These are just a few of the ways sex toys can enhance your relationship intimacy:

Encouraging open communication: If you want to bring sex toys into your relationship, it’s going to take a whole lot of discussion around your desires, boundaries, and preferences. All of this helps to foster a deeper connection.
Building trust and vulnerability: It can be super vulnerable to ask to try something new in your sex life. Introducing something new into the bedroom requires trust, creating an opportunity for you to become even closer to your partner.
Shared pleasure and mutual satisfaction: Many sex toys are designed to enhance pleasure for both partners, making intimacy more fulfilling. Even if a toy doesn’t directly stimulate both of you, seeing your partner experiencing deeper pleasure still increases pleasure and satisfaction for everyone involved.
Rekindling passion in long term relationships: When you’ve been with someone for a long time, passion can ebb and flow. Toys can help rekindle passion by breaking you out of routine with new experiences and sensations.
Exploring new or unexpressed fantasies: Using sex toys can act as a gateway to discussing and trying new desires. This is like opening a Pandora’s box of possibilities when it comes to your sex life and helps your relationship stay exciting and full of novelty.

Getting Started: Talking, Tips, and Overcoming Barriers & Misconceptions

There are a lot of misconceptions when it comes to sex toys for partners. These can become barriers to bringing them into the bedroom. Sometimes it just takes a little extra communication so you can deconstruct those misconceptions head-on. Here are some common concerns and tips for breaking the ice:

Concern: “Will I be replaced?”

Some partners worry about feeling “replaced” by toys. This is a common worry, but toys are tools, not replacements. Tools are not a replacement for intimacy. Really, they are a way to enhance and deepen intimacy for both people. There’s no way a toy can replace the emotional connection, touch and physical intimacy that only your partner can provide!

Breaking the ice

If sex toys are something you want to try for the first time, you sometimes need to break the ice when bringing the topic up to a hesitant partner. It’s important to approach these conversations and situations in a positive and pressure-free way. Try explaining in a way that sparks curiosity, making it clear that you want to explore this as a way of deepening intimacy in your relationship, not creating a barrier.

Tip: Start slow and adapt

You may need to adapt to your different comfort levels and preferences. That could mean first bringing in something a bit more mellow, like a massage candle, then slowly starting to incorporate things that might feel a little more out of their comfort zone, like a vibrating cock ring. Keep the conversation open throughout this process!

How to Choose the Right Sex Toy for Couples

Once you both decide, “You know what? Yeah. We would love to bring some sex toys into the bedroom”, you then have to decide what toys are right for you.

Luckily, we’re here to help make that decision easier with some of the best sex toys for couples:

Couples’ vibrators:

These are wearable and remote-controlled options that allow for hands-free play. Hand over the remote to your partner and immerse yourself in the experience of your partner controlling your pleasure.

Try: The TIANI Harmony is an app-connected vibrator for couples with two motors that work in unison to enhance the sensations of both partners during sex. The smooth, insertable tail is inserted into the vagina, bringing sublime pleasure to both partners, while the external arm offers satisfying vibrations to stimulate the clitoris.

Vibrating cock rings:

These are some of the most fun sex toys for couples since they enhance stimulation for both partners during penetration.

Try: TOR 2 is a flexible vibrating cock ring that boasts more powerful vibrations than any product of its kind and features a smooth silicone design that comfortably fits all sizes.

App-controlled toys:

These are great sex toys for long-distance couples or those looking to add an element of surprise.

Try: IDA Wave is an app-connected dual vibrator designed with LELO’s patented WaveMotion™ technology. Complete with two powerful motors working relentlessly to offer clitoral and G-spot stimulation. Your partner can connect to the app so you can surrender to the ultimate hands-free stimulation.

Massage and foreplay toys:

Sensory tools like feathers, warming oils, and wand massagers to enhance touch and anticipation. These are a nice, gentle entry into the world of toys.

Try: Our Full Body Massage Candle is made of natural oils, shea butter, and other nourishing ingredients. Not only is the oil from this candle the ultimate moisturizer, but it’s chemical- and wax-free. Use it on your partner for some hot foreplay!

Enhancing Foreplay & Connection

So, how do sex toys for intimacy help enhance foreplay and connection? The possibilities are limitless! Here are a few ways to get started.

Extending Foreplay

We all know that foreplay is the secret sauce to deeper pleasure and more intense orgasms. You can use toys to help extend foreplay and provide a slow build-up of anticipation for what is to come. Vibrators can be used to tease and draw out pleasure before any penetration. You can also use things like blindfolds and temperature play (with that massage candle) to build excitement and tantalize the senses.

Explore new sensations

Speaking of tantalizing the senses, sex toys for partners are a great way to explore new sensations together. Using them allows you to try different stimulation types, from gentle to intense, so you can discover new shared pleasures. You can explore each others bodies and find out what makes your partner tick, maybe even uncovering some hidden pleasure spots.

Create Rituals of Intimacy

Sex toys can also be a great way to create your own personal rituals of intimacy through shared pleasure. When you incorporate them into special date nights or relaxation rituals, you help bring more intention to your sex life and to your relationship. Rituals create meaning and ensure that your sexual and emotional connection remains a vibrant and exciting part of your life together.

Keep the Spark Alive in Long-Term Relationships

Another incredible benefit of sex toys for married couples or people in long-term relationships is that they can help to keep the spark alive.

For couples navigating the inevitable shifts in long-term passion, sex toys are an essential tool for breaking the routine. After years together, it’s common for passion to settle, but incorporating new devices into your sex life introduces novel experiences and sensations that have a potential to refresh your connection continuously.

More than just a simple fix, these tools become a playful gateway for exploring new fantasies and desires you might not have otherwise discussed, or even knew you or your partner have! By actively integrating toys into your play time, you ensure your intimate life continues to evolve and remains exciting, locking in a future full of novelty experiences.

How to Clean Sex Toys

Keeping sex toys clean isn’t just about hygiene, it’s also the key to preserving their quality and longevity. Whether you’re new to vibrators or a longtime enthusiast, understanding the best way to care for them ensures both safety and maximized pleasure performance.

Quick Do’s & Don’ts of Sex Toy Care

Do…

Use a dedicated toy cleaner or mild, unscented soap.
Clean before and after every use.
Check if your toy is waterproof before submerging.
Dry toys completely with a lint-free cloth.
Store in a clean, dry place, preferably in a storage bag.

Don’t…

Use harsh chemicals, alcohol, or bleach.
Boil silicone toys unless specified by the manufacturer.
Use silicone-based lubes with silicone toys (it degrades them).
Store toys jumbled together (materials can react).
Forget to charge/remove batteries before long-term storage.

It is crucial to remember: not all toys are created equal. Factors like the material your toy is made from, whether the toy is waterproof, if they can be used with certain lubricants, or shared between partners all change the cleaning process. Always check your toy’s specific instructions and make sure to incorporate proper care into your regular routine, as it will help make your toys last for years to come.

Beyond the Buzz: The Power of Intentional Intimacy

Ultimately, sex toys are simply tools. Their true value lies not in the vibration or sensation itself, but in the emotional connection and shared experiences they inspire, bringing you and your partner closer together. They encourage you to open up about desires, build trust, and actively collaborate on your pleasure.

This is your relationship and your sex life. You both set the pace, and your shared journey is unique. The key is to maintain that open line of communication before, during, and after trying toys so you both feel seen and safe, and more open to continuing this exciting journey together.

Feeling inspired? Here’s your nudge to try one of these sex toys for couples or explore other ways to build trust and intimacy in your relationship.

Read our comprehensive guides for more tips and tricks:

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